LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 
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ChapA.1.... Copyright No. 

Shelf. Ji.LL.P5 



UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



Daphne 



Daphne 

or 

The Pipes of Arcadia 

Three Acts of 
Singing Nonsense 

By y^ 

Marguerite Merington 









New York r\ x \ 

The Century Co. *VY^* ~ » M 
1896 



\ 



Is 



Copyright, 1896 
by Marguerite Merington 



All rights reserved 



Dedicated to 

Mr. Joseph Jefferson 

with admiration and regard 



Daphne 



Illustrations 

(By F. T. Richards, of « Life ") 

Daphne frontispiece 

facing page 

LUCIAN 12 

The Fat Fairy 16 

Boniface . 28 

Sally 76 

Gumbo 110 



Characters. 



PRINCIPALS. 

Daphne, an Arcadian Princess. Soprano 

A Fat Fairy, Daphne's chaperon. Alto 

Boniface, an Arcadian Shepherd. Tenor 

Lucian, a college don. Bass 

Gumbo, King of the Fijis. Basso Pro/undo 

OTHERS. 

Sally, maid-of -all-work to Gumbo. 

Mezzo- Soprano 
Phyllis, an Arcadian Shepherdess. 

Mezzo- Soprano 
Marigold, an Arcadian Shepherdess. Alto 

Chef to Gumbo. Second Tenor 

Robin, an Arcadian Shepherd. Second Tenor 
Damon, an Arcadian Shepherd. Baritone 

A Newsboy. Natural Hoarse Roar 

Two Bootblacks. Usual Whistle 

CHORUS. 

Arcadian Shepherds and Shepherdesses. 
Fijis. 



scenario. 

The scene is laid in Arcadia, because, as 
no one has ever thoroughly explored that 
pleasant country except in extreme youth, 
serious criticism of the local conditions is 
courteously but firmly knocked into a cocked 
hat at the outset. 

The theme of the tale is Love. The 
world began with a love-story in a garden, 
and even in this prosaic age every one has a 
love-story in the family, or knows some one 
else who has one, so that the dramatist is 
reasonably sure to hit the universal taste with 
the universal thing. According as the eter- 
nal fitness of things permits lovers to stay in 
Eden, or banishes them thence with a flaming 
sword, is the result a comedy or a tragedy, for 
the nonce ; and perhaps it is because the hu- 
man drama can never be enacted without tears 
that it is supremely pleasant to crown the lov- 
ers of the mimic world with wreaths of thorn- 
less roses, and to tune the lyre to laughter in 
the doing of it. 



Daphne ; or, The Pipes of Arcadia. 



PROLOGUE. 

[Sung by mens and women's voices to an 
oboe accompaniment behind the cur- 
tain.] 

" THE PIPES OF ARCADIA." 

Because a princess most despiteful 

Spurned her faithful swain > 

Came woes unrightful 

On the shepherd train ! 

Ah, mute the pipes — the song is ended, 

And the gentle flocks 

Browse all untended 

On Arcadian rocks ! 

For those who leave Arcadia ever, 

Who her hills forsake, 

Come back, ah, never, 

Tho' their hearts may break ! 

E'en tho' eyes may strain to see her, 

And the bosom yearn 

For those who flee her, 

There is no return. 

[Here the orchestra plays "The Pipes of 
Arcadia;" motif 'to take up the curtain.] 



ACT I. 

[A pastoral scene is revealed. In the back- 
ground stands a picturesque chateau, 
with lattice windows overhung by flower- 
ing vines ; beyond, there is a glimpse of 
the sea, testifying to the fact that Arca- 
dia lies on the border of the greater un- 
known. A fountain, surrounded by a 
low stone seat, occupies the centre of 
the stage. On the distant uplands, Ar- 
cadian shepherds and shepherdesses are 
tending sheep, the maidens singing and 
the youths playing on pipes.] 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing.] 

We are little shepherdesses 
Copied out of books of beauty. 
Combing out our golden tresses 
Is our pleasing duty I 

Toying with our little crookses, 
Singing slow-time, singing fast-time, 
Wading in Arcadian brookses 
Is our pleasant pastime ! 

Tending our obedient flockses 
(Copied from Japan tea-caddies), 



4 Daphne. 

Sporting on Arcadian rockses 
With the shepherd laddies ! 

[They dance and frisk. 

[Two shepherdesses stray from the dancing 
throng, sighing pensively. This is an 
unmistakable symptom of a fancied pas- 
sion; the suffering at the moment is as 
acute as in the real malady, but the dif- 
erence is that in the latter case one stays 
and dances with the throng. Two shep- 
herds follow them, wooing them with 
their piping, but are flouted by the 
maidens with their crooks. The girls 
wander towards the footlights, where 
their confidences can be distinctly over- 
heard by the audience.] 

PHYLLIS. 

It is all so monotonous — the same song, 
the same shepherds, the same sheep ! 

[She sighs. 

MARIGOLD. 

Yes, they are all just alike — shepherds and 
sheep ! [She sighs. 

DAMON. 

What ! We like sheep ! [Surprised. 

ROBIN. 

[To Damon.] If that is the case, let us 
return to our muttons ! 

[They affect to withdraw. 



Daphne. 



PHYLLIS. 

One alone is different. 

MARIGOLD. 

Aye, Boniface. 

BOTH. 

[Rapturously .] Boniface ! 

DAMON AND ROBIN. 

[ Contemptuously .] Boniface . 

DAMON. 

He wears his hair long, out of all fashion — 
that is the only difference ! 

PHYLLIS. 

Scoffer ! He is a poet ! 

DAMON. 

And therefore cannot afford to get it cut ! 
True. 

PHYLLIS. 

Marigold, promise you '11 never tell if I 
show you something. 

[Draws something from her bosom. 

MARIGOLD. 

I promise. Oh, is that the worsted to work 



6 Daphne. 

the sunset in your sampler ? But are n't you 
afraid it is too bright ? 

PHYLLIS. 

Worsted ! Sunset ! Why, Marigold, it is 
a lock of Boniface's hair ! 

MARIGOLD. 

His darling daffodil hair ! Let me hold it 
just one little minute ! But how did you come 
by such a treasure ? 

PHYLLIS. 

Promise you won't tell. I snipped it off as 
we were shearing sheep ! 

DAMON. 

Oh, I '11 tell the Fat Fairy of you, Miss ! 

PHYLLIS. 

Damon, if you do I '11 never speak to you 
again. Never ! 

MARIGOLD. 

[With sheep-shears .] Where is Boniface 
now ? 

ROBIN. 

Sitting under a Ghinka tree, counting the 
alphabet on his fingers to find a rhyme for 



Daphne. 7 

Daphne, with all his might — and his mane ! 
Ha, ha ! 

MARIGOLD. 

Robin, how dare you scoff at him ! 
Daphne, indeed ! [Whimpers. 

PHYLLIS. 

Phyll — Phyll — Phyllis would eke out a 
couplet just as well as Daphne. [Whimpers. 

MARIGOLD. 

Why doesn't he try Mari — Mari — Mari- 
gold ? [Whimpers. 

PHYLLIS. 

I can't make out what he can see in 
Daphne ! She 's just as hard as nails ! 

DAMON. 

Ah, 't is nails and other hard things that 
always draw the magnet, Miss. I mean to 
tell the Fat Fairy of you. [Runs up stage. 

ROBIN. 

She '11 read you a lecture on the impropriety 
of giving your young affections unasked. 

[Runs up stage. 

PHYLLIS AND MARIGOLD. 

If you dare to ! 

[Run after them, threatening with crooks. 



Daphne. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing in distance.] 

We are little shepherdesses 
Copied out of books of beauty. 
Combing out our golden tresses 
Is our pleasing duty ! 

At stern Life we dare not peep 
Beyond the veil and wimple ; 
Happy are we as our sheep, 
Because we are as simple ! 

[Lucian here enters from the high-road. By 
the inferential process rendered popular 
by the late Mr. Sherlock Holmes, it is 
seen from his gown and mortar-board 
that he is attached to some fountain-head 
of learning. The conscious superiority 
of his bearing rightly suggests New Eng- 
land. A Baedecker in his hand shows 
that he is out on a vacation and not used 
to travelling; the disorder of his attire 
shows that he has journeyed far. Snatches 
of song as he puts himself to rights indi- 
cate that he likes to sing possibly better 
than people like to hear him, and a con- 
versation that he holds with himself re- 
veals that he is seeking Arcadia in order 
to find his former pupil and affianced 
bride, Daphne. A child might perceive 
at this juncture that there are two men 
in love with the same woman. This 



Daphne. 9 

sometimes happens in real life, and in- 
teresting complications may always be 
looked for.] 

PHYLLIS. 

[Spying Lucian.] A young man ! 

MARIGOLD. 

Not as fair as Boniface ! 

PHYLLIS. 

But still our fellow-man, and entitled to 
humane treatment. 

[Followed by all the shepherdesses, they run 
to Lucian, surrounding him.] 

LUCIAN. 

Dear me, what a lot of girls ! Don't do 
that, you are tumbling my collar ; besides, 
your mamas would n't like it. 

[Tries to run away. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Clasping him round the neck.~\ Don't go ! 

LUCIAN. 

Let go ! Forward, bold girls ! [He frees 
himself and runs away.~\ But, stay, a happy 
thought — they may guide me to Daphne ! 
See here, little girls ! 



io Daphne. 

[He runs after them, whereupon they all 
affect to run away. There is a deep 
philosophical truth in this, if any one 
cares to look for it.] 

LUCIAN. 

Hold on, I beg. My intentions are strictly 
correct. My name is Lucian ; my degree is 
Ph. D. ; my object, matrimony — 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Say no more. [They fall on his neck. 

DAMON. 

[To Robin.] This is not to be endured ! 

ROBIN. 

Let us tell the Fat Fairy ! 

[All the Shepherds run out. 

LUCIAN. 

[Struggling.] Help, help ! You do not 
understand. I seek a particular young per- 
son ! 

PHYLLIS. 

All of us are particular young persons in 
Arcadia ! 

[They pin Lucian down with their crooks 
and gag him, while they all sing.] 



Daphne. 1 1 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

We are little shepherdesses 
Copied out of books of beauty. 
Combing out our golden tresses 
Is our pleasing duty ! 

Toying with our little crookses, 
Singing slow-time, singing fast-time, 
Wading in Arcadian brookses 
Is our pleasant pastime ! 

Tending our obedient flockses 
(Copied from Japan tea-caddies), 
Sporting on Arcadian rockses 
With the shepherd laddies ! 

All of us can read and write, 
Cipher, sing, and play croquet. 
Some of us are very bright, 
And all polite and gay. 

At stern Life we dare not peep 
Beyond the veil and wimple ; 
We are happy as our sheep, 
Because we are as simple ! 

How the sky is bright above us ! 
How the world so gay and glad is ! 



12 Daphne. 

How we love them ! How they love us ! 
All the shepherd laddies ! 

[All titter and put crooks to mouth. 

LUCIAN. 

Very nice. Now just listen to what I 'm 
going to propose. 

ALL. 

Propose ! [They splutter with laughter and 
hide their faces. ~\ 

PHYLLIS. 

It is so public, Lucian ! 

LUCIAN. 

Oh, my dear, good girl, if you 'd only listen 
to what I 'm going to say ! Here are three 
gum-drops and half a caramel I took away 
from my Sophomores last week ; regale your- 
selves on them while I sing you something. 

ALL. 

Ah ! [They sit at his feet while he sings. 

LUCIAN. 

[Sings. 1 
Over land and over sea 
Wander I to seek her. 
None so fair, so sweet, as she — 




LUCIAN 



" Over land and over sea 
Wander I to seek her." 



Daphne. 13 



FAT FAIRY. 

[Bursting out of door of chateau.~\ I 'm 
coming ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Alarmed.'] Here comes the Fat Fairy ! 

[They turn their backs to Lucian, and repeat 
the multiplication table. Shepherds re- 
enter.] 

FAT FAIRY. 

O girls, girls, how can you hear a fellow- 
creature in distress and not do something to 
relieve him ? [Runs to Lucian.] Now what 
will you have? [Opening her reticule. .] 
Sticking-plaster or paregoric ? Or [stroking 
his cheeks] just a little kindness ? 

LUCIAN. 

My dear madam, if I only had the pleas- 
ure of your name — 

FAT FAIRY. 

Single man, sir ? Because, if so, I 'd 
rather have the pleasure of yours. Ha, ha, 
ha ! That 's my humor, don't you know. 

[Pokes him in ribs. 

LUCIAN. 



[Groans, .] Great Scot ! 



14 Daphne. 

FAT FAIRY. 

There, there, I '11 sing you something. Oh, 
you don't know the effect of a soothing female 
voice at a crisis — when one has lost one's 
collar-button or is late for a train, for instance. 

[Sings.] 

By nature pensive and tearful, 

Inclined to be drooping and drear, 

I 'm paid to be smiling and cheerful 

A.t so much a year ! 

To laugh when my patrons are dismal, 

When worriments canker and cark ; 

To throw into moments abysmal 

A pleasing remark ! 

I show them what blessings their curses ; 

How humorous really their woes ! 

I paint them, when blue with reverses, 

All couleur-de-rose ! 

I offer a jest or a riddle 

To satirize moral migraine ; 

I laugh with my hey diddle diddle, 

At sorrow and pain ! 

I frolic and frisk when they suffer, 

And simper in fashion ornate. — 

I act as a psychical buffer 

'Twixt mortal and fate ! 

Ah, sweet is the balm of my drolling, 

My rallying quizzical cheer; 



Daphne. 15 

Ah, sweet is the task of consoling, 
At so much a year ! 

[Speaks J] 

Of course, the stipend is a mere trifle, but 
I like to feel that I am underpaid for doing 
good. It was not always thus, you know. 

[Sings.-] 

Once, once upon a time — 

LUCIAN. 

If you'd only let me speak — 

FAT FAIRY. 

Sh ! Bad manners to talk till the music 
is in full swing, don't you know. 

[Sings.] 

Once, once upon a time, 

Columbine, sylph-like and airy, 

I in a pantomime 

Was a pantomimic fairy 

Clad, clad in gauzy wings, 

Scant, gauzy, other things. [Coyly. 

SHEPHERDS AND SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing in chorus.] 
Clad, clad in gauzy wings, 
Scant, gauzy, other things. 



1 6 Daphne. 

FAT FAIRY. 

[Acting it out.] 

Glit — glittering with spangles, 

Gay — gay with tissue roses, 

Stan — ding at curious angles, 

In quaint Delsartian poses. 

Oh, the rapture ! Oh, the bliss ! 

When I posed like this — or this ! [Poses. 

CHORUS. 

[Posing.'] 

Oh, the rapture ! Oh, the bliss ! 
When she posed like this — and this ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

On pasteboard clouds I stood, 
Bright in a lime-light glow ; 
By Harlequin was wooed, 
In parti-coloured clo' ; 
Or else, with great ecW, 
Danced like that — and that — and that ! 

[Dances. 

CHORUS. 

[Dancing.] 

Once she with great ecW, 

Danced like that — and that — and that ! 



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THE FAT FAIRY 



"Once I with great eclat 
Danced like that — and that-- and that." 



Daphne. 17 

FAT FAIRY. 

I, little Columbine, 

Was the idol of the throng ; 

Fort — fortune, fame, were mine, 

Long ago — ah, me ! how long ! 

When I capered thus and so, 

In the years of long ago ! [Capers. 

CHORUS. 

[ Capering.'] 

Yes, she capered thus and so, 
In the years of long ago ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

There, is n't that nice ? Would you like 
me to do it again ? No charge extra for en- 
cores, you know. 

LUCIAN. 

No, no ! I insist upon singing a bit my- 
self. [Sings very loud.] Over — 

ALL. 

Hear, hear ! 

LUCIAN. 

Don't interrupt. [Sings.] Over — 

[Loud shouts are heard in the distance. 



1 8 Daphne. 

SHEPHERDS. 

There 's a fire ! [ They all scamper off. The 
shouts are heard approaching.] 

FAT FAIRY. 

Some one in dire distress. Every one put 
a bright face on and try to make the best of 
it. Girls, if it 's serious misfortune, you can 
titter every now and then and ask conun- 
drums. 

[Lucian walks about distractedly. Boniface 
rushes on, followed by the shepherds. 
He waves his lute wildly.] 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

'T is Boniface. 

PHYLLIS. 

He is sick with love ! [Sighs. 

FAT FAIRY. 

I wonder if I'd better give him sticking- 
plaster, or paregoric, or [stroking Boniface's 
cheeks'] just a little dose of kindness ! 

LUCIAN. 

[To himself.] Another man in love ! He 
may help me to find Daphne ! 



Daphne. 19 

BONIFACE. 

[Sings, trying to free himself^ Give place, 
give place ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

[Archly .] You 're in distress ? 

SHEPHERDS. 

[Holding him.~\ But, Boniface — 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

You are. Confess ! 

LUCIAN. 

Is y t debt — disgrace ? 

BONIFACE. 

I seek redress ! 

ALL. 

[To Boniface.] 
Why wan of eye 
And pale of cheek ? 
Whence come you ? Why ? 
What may you seek ? 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Why will he sigh ? 



20 Daphne. 

SHEPHERDS. 

Why won't he speak ? 

LUCIAN. 

Mayhap like mine 
Some lover's woe — 
Is 't woman, wine ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

I told you so ! 

ALL. 

Ah, make some sign 
That we may know, 
Since we opine — 

BONIFACE. 

[Struggling.] 

Let go ! Let go ! [He frees himself and 
runs toward the fountain^ 

ALL. 

[Sing) acting out the words.] 

With aqueous taste for which there 's no 

accountin' 
Apparently he seeks the public fountain ! 
Perchance beneath its cooling, lucent brim 



Daphne. 21 

He fain would dive, 

Or drink, 
Or fish, 
Or swim ! 
Or pick the supple lily, pliant rush — 
He tunes his lute — 
Hark, hark, he sings — 
Hush, hush ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Sings.] 

Ade, sweet life, ade. 

Since Love hath said me nay, 

To love and life and all things gay, 

Ade, I say, ade ! 

[Explosively.] 

Adiddledumde, ade ! 

[He approaches fountain.] 

Under the fountain's brim 
Healing waits for him, 
Heart-slain by a false maid's whim, 
Whose love hath said him nay ! 
Distinctly said him nay ! 

[He stands on stone seat about fountain, and 
apostrophizes the group which clusters about 
bim.] 



22 Daphne, 

Dance on, O joyous throng ! 
Sing, maidens, sweet your song ! 
Live out, O world, your full life long, 
Though Love hath said me nay ! 

[Defiantly.] 
Nay — I repeat it — nay ! 

ALL. 

Nay — He repeats it — nay ! 

BONIFACE. 

[He gets on to brim of fountain.] 
Swiftly the waters part ; 
Swift as an arrow's dart, 
Swift and sure to death's great heart, 
Singing ade ade — 
Adiddledumde ade ! 

[He throws his lute away. Phyllis catches 
it. He joins his hands as if to leap into 
the fountain, but is pulled back by the 
throng.] 

FAT FAIRY. 

Hadn't you better wet your head before 
you go in swimming ? 

BONIFACE. 

Swimming — to a man who contemplates 
self-destruction ! Contemplates it, I say. 
[Aside.] Boo hoo, how cold the water looks ! 



Daphne. 23 



ALL. 



[Shudder. ~\ Self-destruction ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Taking off his coat.~\ Why should you not 
learn it now rather than later — when it may 
be too late to prevent it ! [With emotion. 

PHYLLIS. 

[Weeps.~\ Must you do it, Boniface? 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Weep.~\ Yes, must you, Boniface? 

BONIFACE. 

I fear I must ! 

PHYLLIS. 

[To Marigold.] Daphne is at the bot- 
tom of this. 

marigold. 

Yes. Daphne ! 

BONIFACE. 

What else can I do ? 

[Sings. ,] 

Were love to your thirst gainsaid 
When kissing your lip was the cup, 



24 Daphne. 

Would you wait for the draught delayed, 
Or — [Makes a plunge. 

SHEPHERDS. 

[Pulling him back.] 
Give it up ! 

BONIFACE. 

If your heart had been bared to the lash 
With merciless quiver and tingle, 
Would you pause at the final dash, 

Or — \Makes a plunge. 

FAT FAIRY. 

[Pulling him back.] 
Remain single ! 

BONIFACE. 

If a maid had flouted you once, 
Your flame would you stifle and smother ? 
Would you wait on her whim for the nonce, 
Or — [Makes a plunge. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

\_Sing, pulling him back.] 
Try another ! 

BONIFACE. 

If she were as faithless as fair, 
Were you dispossessed as her lover, 



Daphne. 25 

Would you live in a wail of despair, 

Or — [Makes a plunge. 

LUCIAN. 

[Pulling him back.~] 
Think it over ! 

BONIFACE. 

In most reprehensible manner 
If cruelly crossed were your lot, 
Would you stick at the brink of Nirvana, 
Or — - [Makes a plunge. 

ALL. 

[Pulling him back.~\ 
Better not ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Pausing.~\ True, I shrink from the water, 
but — 

FAT FAIRY. 

You 're more likely to shrink in the wash. 
Ha, ha, ha ! Treat the situation humorously ! 

ALL. 

Yes, do, Boniface. Ha, ha, ha ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

At any rate, leave us a pleasant remem- 
brance of you. Where 's your watch ? Noth- 
ing like the hand of Time to soften grief ! 



26 Daphne. 

ALL. 

Yes, yes ! 

[Sing, clutching Boniface.] 

Before you die — if die you must ; 
Before reduced to silent dust, — 
Or, since you go a wat'ry way, 
Before reduced to moistened clay, — 
Have you no little parting word ? 
No trifling wish that should be heard ? 
No wealth concealed ? Sin unconfessed ? 
Consider — make you no bequest ? 
Have you no trinkets we might save 
From sharing in your wat'ry grave ? 

BONIFACE. 

I only leave a name ! 

ROBIN. 

And that is not marketable. 

BONIFACE. 

That is exactly what She said ! 

PHYLLIS. 

Heartless creature ! \Weeps. 

BONIFACE. 

I will thank you not to use my lute for a 



Daphne. 27 

pocket-handkerchief, Phyllis ; it will put it 
out of tune. 

[ Takes lute from Phyllis and sings.] 

I sang to her — 

[Speaks.] 

I say " to her " because I do not wish to 
drag a lady's name into the discussion, but of 
course " her " refers to — to the young lady 
who is at the bottom of it. 

[Sings with his lute.] 

I sang to her 

In spring, when woodbine twined — 

LUCIAN. 

It twines throughout the year. 

FAT FAIRY. 

Well, never mind ! 

BONIFACE. 

Salt tears I shed — 

LUCIAN. 

Take that cum grano salis ! 

BONIFACE. 

And, oh, that my heart bled 
Of no avail is ! 



28 Daph 



ne. 



LUCIAN. 



Hearts do not bleed; 
They work the circulation ! 

PHYLLIS. 

I prithee let us heed 
His sweet narration ! 

BONIFACE. 

Angel is she — 

LUCIAN. 

Angels are non-existent ! 

ALL. 

\To Lucian.] 
Why must you be 
Rudely persistent ? 

BONIFACE. 

I vowed my love — 

LUCIAN. 

You can't vow an emotion ; 
Pray let me prove — 

BONIFACE. 

My devotion 
Fixed as a star — 







BONIFACE 

"I sang to her 

In spring when woodbine twined. 1 



Daphne. 29 



LUCIAN. 

You know that 's a delusion / 

BONIFACE. 

My heart — 

LUCIAN. 

Ha, ha ! 

ALL. 

[To Lucian.] 
Cease this intrusion ! 

BONIFACE. 

Went my heart forth, 
As turns without election 
Needle to north ! 

LUCIAN. 

There 's a deflection ! 

BONIFACE. 

Skies darken when 
Some coming ill is boded 
To sons of men — 

LUCIAN. 

That myth 's exploded ! 

BONIFACE. 

In my soul strife, 

And midnight in my sky. 



jo Daphne. 

Fruitless were life — 
Singing, I die ! 

ALL. 

He sang to Her 

(He does not mention whom) 

Love-songs, we infer, 

Tinctured with gloom — 

He sang to Her 

In spring, when woodbine twined ; 

LUCIAN. 

It twines throughout the year. 

ALL. 

But never mind ! 

He sang to Her — 

We judge he sang in vain. 

Tuneless hor ear ! 

Bitter his pain ! 

He sang to Her — 

Perchance she would not listen, 

Else would a tear 

In his een glisten ? 

He sang to Her, 

He sang both loud and long. 

It failed to endear — 

That lengthy song ! 

In his soul strife, 



Daphne. 31 



Midnight in his skies. 
Fruitless were life — 
Singing, he dies ! 



BONIFACE. 



\_Dangling his feet reluctantly over fountain, 
aside.] Public sentiment seems to demand it. 

LUCIAN. 

[Aside.] If I let him go I shall never find 
Daphne! [Throws stones into fountain.] You 
know a child might wade in that ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Dismally.] Yes — wade and be found 
wanting ! 

MARIGOLD. 

Oh, heed the stranger, Boniface. He has 
a haughty bearing and wears clean starched 
linen ! 

BONIFACE. 

That would compel my attention on the 
brink of immortality. Speak, stranger ! 

LUCIAN. 

Divining your complaint, I think I can give 
you a receipt — 



32 Daphne. 



BONIFACE. 



A receipt ! Why ? You are not my tailor, 
are you? He is the only man to whom I 
owe everything and whom I can never repay ! 
Speak ! Are you my tailor ? 



LUCIAN. 



Certainly not. I only press my own suit. 
A recipe, I should have said. I make your 
case my own, and — 

BONIFACE. 

[Springing up.] You insist on dying in 
my stead ? Noble fellow ! In with you ! 

[ Tries to throw Lucian into fountain. 

LUCIAN. 

[Struggling.'] No, no ! I don't want to. 

BONIFACE. 

We '11 do it tandem. You go first. 

LUCIAN. 

[Escaping.] My name is Lucian, and my 
degree is — 

BONIFACE. 

[Chasing him.] Boiling-point. But never 
mind, old chap. You will find the water cool 
but bracing. [All chase Lucian. 



Daphne. 33 

LUCIAN. 

\_Sinks down exhausted.] But why die ? 

ALL. 

[Sink down exhausted.] Yes, why ? 

BONIFACE. 

Now you put it in that light, why ? Yet, 
finding that I have a rival — 

ALL. 

[ To Lucian.] Come, now, what would 



yo 



u do about that ? 



BONIFACE. 



Yes, come, now, the recipe. If you had 
a rival — 

LUCIAN. 

[Sings.] 

If I had a rival — 

[Speaks.] 
Remember, it 's purely hypothetical, but — 

[Sings.] 

If I had a rival, 
With cunning contrival 
I 'd poison his beer, 
That I would, never fear ; 



34 Daphne. 

A-singing, sarcastic and low, 
" This is your last minute, 
For pizen is in it, 
A mixture both painful and slow ! 
And the bibulous sinner 
Should die at his dinner, 
A-singing his hey hilly ho ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

[Sing.-] 

Yes, the bibulous sinner 
Should die at his dinner, 
A-singing his hey hilly ho ! 

ALL. 

[Sing.'] 
His hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, hi hilly, ho ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

If I had a rival — 



ALL. 



Ha, ha, ha ! 



FAT FAIRY. 

I said " if." If I had a rival, I 'd take it 
pleasantly, and not make such ugly rude dem- 
onstrations about it. 



Daphne. 3$ 

PHYLLIS. 

If I had a rival — just pretend I loved this 
gentleman, for instance — 

LUCIAN. 

[Edging off.] No, you must n't do that. 

PHYLLIS. 

I said " pretend. " 

[Sings.] 
If I had a rival, 
With cruel deprival 
I 'd elope with her dear, 
That I would, never fear ; 
A-singing, as off we did go, 
" Adieu, ma toute belle ! 
We would take you as well - — 
But you see you are really de trop ! " 
And in bridal attire 
I 'd watch her expire, 
A-singing her hey hilly ho ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing.] 

Yes, in bridal attire 
I 'd watch her expire, 
A-singing her hey hilly ho ! 



36 Daphne. 

ALL. 

[Sing.] 
Her hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, hi hilly, ho ! 

BONIFACE. 

This is contagious. If I had a rival — I 
have one, you know, but I say " had " be- 
cause you all said " had." 

[Sings."] 

If I had a rival, 
'T were mine — the survival ! 
I 'd poison or slay 
In some delicate way, 
While I sang, with a virtuous glow, 
" If one has to die, 
Why — it shall not be I!" 
• (Alluding to you, don't you know !) 
And you 'd die so completely, 
So sweetly, so neatly, 
A-singing your hey hilly ho ! 

ALL. 

[Sing.] 
Yes, you 'd die so completely, 
So sweetly, so neatly, 
A-singing your hey hilly ho ! 



Daphne. 37 



Your hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, hi hilly, ho ! 



BONIFACE. 

[Putting on his coat.] Thank Heaven, it 
has ended so lyrically ! [He offers his hand to 
Lucian.] My life-preserver! Charmed to 
have met you. Good-day. 

LUCIAN. 

Hold hard ! I saved your life. 

BONIFACE. 

It is not worth mentioning. [Going. ,] 
Drowning men catch at straws — straws ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Runs after him.~\ I insist on being recom- 
pensed. Come, we '11 strike a bargain. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Hurrah ! A bargain ! 

BONIFACE. 

Yes — a man reduced to terms. Speak, 
stranger ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Sings.] 
Over — 



38 Daphne. 

BONIFACE. 

I said speak, not sing. 

LUCIAN. 

So be it. I seek my promised bride, who 
is a most elusive young person. Help me 
find her, and I in return undertake to plead 
your cause with your inamorata. 

BONIFACE. 

And slay my rival ? Done ! 

[Clasps Lucian's hand. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Done! [Clasp Shepherds' hands. 

BONIFACE. 

We will be as brothers ! 

[He falls on Lucian's neck. 

SHEPHERDS. 

We will be as brothers ! 

[They fall on Shepherdesses' necks. 

LUCIAN. 

Our brides shall be sisters ! 

[He and Boniface embrace. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Embracing Shepherds.] We will all be 
sisters to you ! 



Daphne. 39 

BONIFACE. 

But, brother, suppose you fail ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

Oh, tut, tut ! Youth's bright lexicon, don't 
you know ! 

BONIFACE. 

People sometimes do it without consulting 
a dictionary. Suppose you fail ? 

LUCIAN. 

If I fail, brother, you may take my life ! 

BONIFACE. 

Thank you, brother. My life is yours if 
I fail ! 

LUCIAN. 

It is a bargain ! [ They embrace. 

SHEPHERDS AND SHEPHERDESSES. 

A bargain ! [ They embrace. 

BONIFACE. 

We will not fail ! 

ALL. 

[&■»£.] 

Sweet the fact, 

Wife for wife ! 



40 Daphne. 

Brave the act, 

Life for life ! 
Great the trust ; 

High the thought ! 
Bargain just, 

Bravely bought ! 
Each will bear 

Other's pain ! 
Each will share 

Other's gain ! 
Each his good 

Shall divide ; 

Brotherhood 

Ratified ! 
Doff the sword, — 

Coat of mail ! 
Pledged word 

Cannot fail ! 
Through the land 

They depart, 
Hand in hand, 

Heart to heart. 
Each for each 

Maid shall sue, 
With soft speech ; 

Win her, too ! 
Well-endowed 

In love's craft — 
Well they vowed 

Bruderschaft ! 



Daphne. 41 

BONIFACE. 

I congratulate you, sir. The lady you 
will have the honor of winning for me is 
without a peer ! 

LUCIAN. 

Ah, but wait till you see mine ! 

[They sit and sing, each regardless of the 
other, just as intimate confidences are 
sometimes bestowed and received in real 
life.] 

[Boniface and Lucian sing.'] 

BONIFACE. 

Ah, my lady's faith is royal, 
Though she be not lightly wooed ; 
And am I her vassal loyal 
Of each changeful April mood. 

LUCIAN. 

Constant mine, of faith unbroken, 
Though she shine remote and far, 
Turn I toward her shining token, 
As the needle seeks the star. 

BONIFACE. 

Moves the heart-strings as a measure 
Of some laughing, dancing strain ; 
Vibrates to impassioned pleasure 
With an afterthought of pain. 



42 Daphne. 

LUCIAN. 

Isolate as pine-trees tower, 
Rooted deep and branching high ; 
Fearless, though the heavens lower ; 
Trustful, reaching to the sky ! 

BONIFACE. 

Mine looks through her downcast lashes, 
Pensive, shyly, as a nun. 

LUCIAN. 

Naught the glance of mine abashes, 
Brave as eaglet meets the sun. 
She is all-erect and queenly, 
Strong of purpose, high of thought — 

BONIFACE. 

Blossoms mine apart, serenely, 
Like the violet, dearly sought. 

LUCIAN. 

E'en in speech a bit audacious, 
Keen, as east wind cuts the mist. 

BONIFACE. 

Honey-sweet Her words, from gracious 
Lips that famish to be kissed. 

LUCIAN. 

Mine, Athene-wise, is mighty — 
Wit her sceptre, man her slave. 



Daphne. 43 



BONIFACE. 



Mine, though coy, like Aphrodite, 
Kiss would ask for kiss she gave. 

ALL. 

Strange how varies the complexion 
Of, to each, a perfect thing ! 
Each, it seems, would paint perfection ; 
Yet how widely differing ! 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

When I sing my peerless Daphne — 

[ They stop short and look at each other, 

BONIFACE. 

Daphne ! What do you mean, sir ? 

LUCIAN. 

How dare you, sir ? Daphne, indeed ! 

ALL. 

Daphne ! 

DAPHNE. 

[In the distance.] Who calls Daphne ? 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

Daphne ! 

ALL. 

Daphne ! 



44 Daphne. 



DAPHNE. 

[Coming from the chateau.~\ Is it a dream, 
or do I hear his voice repeating Daphne ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

Whose voice, Miss ? Explain. 

BONIFACE. 

[Pushes Lucian toward Daphne.] Go 
to, sirrah. Win her for me ! 

DAPHNE. 

Lucian, my own ! [Falls into his arms. 

BONIFACE. 

[Furious.'] What is the meaning of this ? 

DAPHNE. 

Boniface, my only ! Was it a jealous ickle 
sing, then ? [Falls into his arms. 

LUCIAN. 

[Furious.'] This is beyond bearing ! You 
described an insipid book-of-beauty heroine. 
How did I know you meant Daphne ? 

BONIFACE. 

You ranted about a New England tin-type 
— how could I tell you meant Daphne ? 



Daphne. 45 

[Lucian, Boniface, and Daphne sing.] 

LUCIAN. 

You in terms absurdly flighty 
Spoke of her as Aphrodite, 
April, violet, and nun — 

BONIFACE. 

You with accent highty-tighty 
Mentioned pine-trees, Pallas mighty, 
Eaglet, east wind, all in one ! 

DAPHNE. 

Strange how varies the complexion 
Of, to each, a perfect thing ! 
Each, it seems, would paint perfection ; 
Yet how widely differing ! 

ALL. 

One in terms absurdly flighty 
Spoke of her as Aphrodite, 
April, violet, and nun. 
One with accent highty-tighty 
Mentioned pine-trees, Pallas mighty, 
Eaglet, east wind, all in one ! 

LUCIAN. 

You, a poet shandy-pated, 
Spoke in terms exaggerated, 
Her to stars and flowers mated, 
Goddesses and fiddle-strings ! 



46 Daphne. 

BONIFACE. 

You in wisdom overrated 
Somewhat lengthily dilated 
(While I most politely waited) 
On all sorts of foolish things ! 

DAPHNE. 

[She takes the centre of the stage, as the 
leading lady has a perfect right to do at 
a crisis, and sings, while every one else 
hearkens respectfully.] 

Each would tell the self-same story, 
Colored each with different art, — 
Dwells my beauty's rainbow glory 
Only in the artist's heart ? 

Love, it seems, hath fairy glasses, 
Love a magic charm bestows, 
Beauty gives to homely lasses, 
Gilds the lily, paints the rose. 

What if when the dream is over 
Time should prick the airy cheat, 
Kill the love and steal the lover 
Now a captive at my feet ? 

ALL. 

One, a poet shandy-pated, 
Spoke in terms exaggerated, 



Daphne. 47 

Her to stars and flowers mated, 
Goddesses and fiddle-strings. 
One in wisdom overrated 
Somewhat lengthily dilated 
(While we most politely waited) 
On all sorts of foolish things ! 

LUCIAN. 

Perfidious, fidious Daphne ! Explain the 
cause of this frightful complication ! No 
offence, brother [to Boniface] . 

ALL. 

Yes, explain ! 

DAPHNE. 

It is all so sweetly simple ! Sent from 
Arcadia in my childhood, I was educated in 
a New England college — that is why I am 
so superior to these, my simple compatriots. 
You, Lucian, were my teacher. You taught 
me to think, reason, and observe the stars, 
and to love learning in anv form, particularly 
your own. But my troth had been previously 
plighted to Boniface. We were born on the 
same day of the week, in the same village, 
and, oddly enough, on the same planet. 
His parents dying soon after in great affluence, 
my poor but honest parents promptly adopted 
him and betrothed him to me. Thus. 



48 Daphne. 

[Daphne and Boniface sit with their arms 
about each other 5 the others group them- 
selves appropriately, the shepherdesses 
cuddling their crooks, wrapped up, like 
babies, in their aprons.] 

DAPHNE AND BONIFACE. 

[Sing.] 
Two cherubic heads down-pressed, 
On one pillow soft they lie, 
Birdlings sheltered in one nest, 
Cradled with one lullaby. 

ALL. 

Wonder not the friends of both 
(Rocking, rocking, side by side) 
Plighted then their future troth, 
Infant bridegroom, baby bride ! [Rocking. 

DAPHNE. 

Hither brought by rainbow ships 
From the past, whence babies come, 
Greeted by a mother's lips, 
Darling nestlings, safe at home ; 
When the rainbow sails are furled, 
Anchored in a tender clasp, 
See they glimpses of a world 
That eludes maturer grasp ? 
Are those rounded baby eyes 
Innocent — or strangely wise ? 



Daphne. 49 



ALL. 

Are those rounded baby eyes 
Innocent — or strangely wise ? 

LUCIAN. 

Does the man-child's vision limn 
How the quickening pulses leap ? 
How the conflict waits for him — 
Him a nestling warm with sleep ? 

SHEPHERDS. 

[Softly.-] 

Baby-soul all holy-white 
As the wool we wrap you in, 
Dream you how the angels fight, 
Claiming you from powers of sin ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

Does the girl-babe's dream forebode 
Changes of her coming years, 
Mysteries of maidenhood, 
Hopings, yearnings, aye, and tears ? 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[.Softly.] 

Sleeping downy wraps beneath, 
Dainty thing, with dimpled toes, 
Can the rosebud in its sheath 
Feel the triumph of the rose ? 



50 Daphne. 

DAPHNE, FAT FAIRY, BONIFACE, AND LUCIAN. 

Presages the fertile field, 
Seed-strown in the early spring, 
Glories of the harvest yield 
In the time of laboring ? 
Can the streamlets at their source, 
Down the mountains laughing free, 
Feel the mighty river's force 
As it draws them to the sea ? 

ALL. 

Two cherubic heads down-pressed, 
On one pillow soft they lie, 
Birdlings sheltered in one nest, 
Cradled with one lullaby. 
Wonder not the friends of both 
(Rocking, rocking, side by side) 
Plighted then their future troth, 



Infant bridegroom, baby bride 



[The shepherdesses, escorted by the shep- 
herds, steal out on tiptoe, rocking and 
hushing their crooks.] 

LUCIAN. 
This cannot go on forever. 

DAPHNE. 

That was the last verse. [ To Fat Fairy, 

who is yawning loudly. ~\ Must you go, dear ? 



Daphne. 51 



FAT FAIRY. 



No, no, don't mind me. I love to feel 
that I 'm a martyr to my duty ! 



DAPHNE. 



Oh, but consider, this dew and your rheu- 
matism ! [To the others.] I must get rid of 
her. There '11 be a moon in a few minutes. 



FAT FAIRY, 



Good gracious, I feel a twinge already ! 
Good-night, everybody. 

[Bounces off into chateau. 

LUCIAN. 

[To Boniface.] We might match pen- 
nies for her. I '11 be head and you be tails. 

BONIFACE. 

Tails ? Certainly not ; I 'm a poet, not a 
wag. Tails, indeed ! 

LUCIAN. 

Then, brother, you must die ! 

DAPHNE. 

Not at all. I love you both — you both 
love me. Therefore, you love each other, 
which was to be proved. Is n't this fun ? 

[Takes an arm of each. 



52 Daphne. 



LUCIAN. 

It would be, my angel, if — 

BONIFACE. 

Angel ? Aha, that 's one for me ! 

LUCIAN. 

I take it back. Unangel ! — You see, my 
— my — Miss, I should say — you see we 
have sworn each to court you for the other — 
or die in the attempt ! 

DAPHNE. 

[Clasps her hands, .] Enchanting! Why 
don't you begin ? I wish the moon would 
wax along — though we could do it in the 
dark. [Coyly. 

BONIFACE. 

[Pushes Lucian toward Daphne.] Go to, 
sirrah ! Say something pretty in my name ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Pushes Boniface toward Daphne.] Kiss 
her for me, you dog ! 

DAPHNE. 

This is very slow. [Makes to go.~\ Good- 
night. 



Daphne. $3 



LUCIAN. 



Oh, stay awhile I I ask it in Boniface's 
name. [He seizes her hand. 

BONIFACE. 

Yes, stay, my — somebody else's darling, I 
mean. Lucian on bended knee implores. 

[He kneels and seizes her other hand. 

LUCIAN. 

Are you squeezing her hand, viper ? 

BONIFACE. 

Certainly not, rattlesnake. 

DAPHNE. 

You are a little, darling [to Boniface]. 
But it counts for you, pet [to Lucian] . There, 
now it 's about equal ! Ah, how happy I am to 
think how happy I make you both. Come, 
court me ! 

[Boniface, Lucian, and Daphne sing.~\ 

BONIFACE. 

I woo with rhyme, 

[Daphne leans her head on his shoulder. 

LUCIAN. 

/ with reason. 

[Daphne leans her head on his shoulder. 



54 Daphne. 

DAPHNE. 

Reason wins in time, 
Rhyme wins in season ! 

BONIFACE. 

Reas'nable sage, 
Love's tender treason 
Mocketh at age, 
Fleeth from reason ! 

LUCIAN. 

Rhythmical youth, 
Treason 's a crime, 
Reason is truth, 
Truth is n't rhyme ! 

DAPHNE, BONIFACE, AND LUCIAN. 

Oh, Love enchanting, Love sublime, 
Love fugitive, that flees on, 
Were 't best to woo and win in time, 
Or win and wed in season ? 

I They dance in minuet time. 

LUCIAN. 

Love's tender catechism 
Out-rhymes rhyme ! 

BONIFACE. 



Love's own syllogism 
Out-reasons time ! 



Daphne. 55 

DAPHNE. 

Time hath its limit — 
Limitless, Love ; 
Rhyme cannot hymn it, 
Nor reason prove ! 

DAPHNE, BONIFACE, AND LUCIAN. 

O Love elusive, Love sublime, 
O bird of flight, that flees on, 
The poet salts your tail with rhyme, 
The sage with Salter season ! 

[They dance in minuet time, and if encored 
with sufficient vehemence, they sing.'] 

O Love, sweet bird of Eden's clime, 
This truth each heart agrees on, 
Not caught by reason, truth, or rhyme, 
You come in your own season ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

[With her head in a night-cap, calls out of 
window^] Ahem ! Daphne ! 

DAPHNE. 

Coming, dear ! — - Tiresome old thing ; just 
as we were getting on so nicely ! Good- 
night, my equally beloved beloveds. 

LUCIAN. 

No trifling impartial pledge of fidelity to 



56 Daphne. 



both ? Not even one little three-cornered 
kiss ? 

DAPHNE. 

Why not ? One, two, three, and away. 
[Boniface and Lucian kiss her simultane- 
ously.^ 

BONIFACE. 

\_To Lucian.] Adder! It is like your 
cheek ! 

DAPHNE. 

My cheek, poppet. I will turn the other. 
[She does so, and they kiss her again. ,] There ! 
Two heads are better than one, after all. 

fat fairy. 
[At window .] Ahem ! 

LUCIAN. 

In the name of thunder, how long is this to 
last ? 

DAPHNE. 

Till either, by the ardor of his attentions, 
compels me to accept the other. Your court- 
ing has been decidedly amateurish to-night, 
but to-morrow I dare say you will improve. 

LUCIAN. 

O Daphne, swear that you will only dream 
of Boniface ? 



Daphne. 57 



BONIFACE. 



No, no. I hesitate to wish you a night- 
mare — but if you will only dwell on Lucian's 
imperfections in your sleep — Viper ! Aca- 
demic viper ! Ugh ! 

DAPHNE. 

Oh, hush, beloved ! Promises, vows, what 
are they all but empty breath ; and dreams are 
but the lawless soothsayers of sleep ! How 
fair the night ! Does it not breathe forth a 
great impartial all-embracing love ? And so 
I love you both ! \_At this moment the crescent 
moon opportunely appears in the proper quarter of 
the heavens^ And see ! Strange unexpected 
token of our covenant, the crescent moon ! 
Mark how the tides in bondage follow her ! 
And so with us — I am to you both as moon 
to tide. 

[She takes Boniface 1 s hand, and sings, while 
Lucian's countenance expresses the emo- 
tions proper to any young man under 
the same circumstances, and the Fat 
Fairy again puts her night-capped head 
out of the window.] 

[Sings.] 

How fair the night ! 
In sky and sea the crescent moon how bright ! 
Did sea and sky 



5 8 Daphne. 

Perchance a silver sixpence break 
For sweet Love's sake ? 

But you and I 

No vows did make, 

For well we knew 
What empty things are words 

When hearts are true ! 
Ah, sweet, how fair the night ! 

DAPHNE AND BONIFACE. 

How fair the night ! 
In sky and sea the crescent moon how bright ! 

Did sea and sky 
Perchance a silver sixpence break 
For sweet Love's sake ? 

DAPHNE, BONIFACE, FAT FAIRY, AND LUCIAN. 

But you and I 

No vows did make, 

For well we knew 
What empty things are words 

When hearts are true ! 
Ah, sweet, how fair the night ! 

DAPHNE. 

[Taking Lucian's band.'] 
How fair the night ! 
As sea to sky throws back that arch of light ! 
Did sky for sea 



Daphne. 59 

That covenant set on her breast 

At Love's behest ? 

For you and me 

Were vain such quest ; 

Full well we know 

Our faith unpledged can but more lasting grow ! 

Ah, love, how fair the night ! 

DAPHNE AND LUCIAN. 

How fair the night ! 
As sea to sky throws back that arch of light ! 
Did sky for sea 
That covenant set on her breast 
At Love's behest ? 

DAPHNE, LUCIAN, BONIFACE, AND FAT FAIRY. 

For you and me 
Were vain such quest ; 
Full well we know 
Our faith unpledged can but more lasting grow ! 
Ah, love, how fair the night ! 

DAPHNE. 

[Speaks.] And now, good-night, my 
equally beloved beloveds ! \_Sbe goes into the 
chateau kissing her hand to both.] 

LUCIAN. 

I can't stand this any longer. It was n't 
for this share-and-share-alike business I left 



60 Daphne. 

my chair in a peaceful New England col- 
lege ! 

BONIFACE. 

If you can't stand it, go back to your 
chair ! Serpent ! 

LUCIAN. 

Worm ! [ They fall upon each other, fighting. 
All the Shepherds rush in.~\ 

ROBIN. 

Have the heavens fallen ? 

DAMON. 

No, no. Only one star differeth from an- 
other star ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

[Sing.] 
Brothers lately sworn, they wrestle, 
Pulverizing each the other, 
Like pills compounded with a pestle ; 
Brother atomized by brother ! 

ROBIN. 

Shall we interfere ? 

BONIFACE. 

Wish you would ! 



Daphne. 61 

ROBIN. 

Bid them reason hear ? 

DAMON. 

What 's the good ? 

They enjoy it without doubt. 

LUCIAN. 

Do we, though ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

Let them fight it, fight it out ! 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

No, no, no ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

We will see fair play, 
Singing, soothing and low, 
Fight away, fight away, 
With your hey hilly ho, 
Your hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, ho hilly, 
Hey hilly, hi hilly, ho ! 

[A newsboy is heard, calling, " Evenin' 
papers ! " The shepherds all run toward 
him as he enters.] 

BONIFACE. 

[Wiping his brow.'] Lend me a nickel, 
brother. 



62 Daphne. 

LUCIAN. 

[Giving him coin.] With pleasure. 

NEWSBOY. 

[Sings.'] 

Evenin' papers, evenin' papers ! 

All the latest mundane capers ! 

Scandal whispered, slander spoken, 

All the ten commandments broken ! 

Latest fashions fresh from Paris ! 

Some one 's dead and some one marries ! 

Forty pages illustrated, 

Not one whit exaggerated, 

News that happened years ago. 

If you see it here, 't is so ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Buying paper. ,] You can keep the change, 
sonny. 

NEWSBOY. 

Thankee, sir ! [Goes. 

BONIFACE. 

[Reads.~\ " Cheap excursion ! Cut-throat 
rates ! " The hand of Providence is in this. 
I leave Arcadia to-night ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Chuckles, .] Do! 



Daphne. 63 

BONIFACE. 

You could n't advance me a trifle, brother ? 
Twenty, for instance. Never mind ; if you 
have n't anything smaller, I can do with fifty. 

LUCIAN. 

[Gives him money. ~\ Anything to get rid 
of him ! 

BONIFACE. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder ! 

LUCIAN. 

Yes — of those present. I stay. 

BONIFACE. 

In which case the affection you earn goes 
to me. You did n't think of that, did you ? 

[Pocketing money. 

LUCIAN. 

Thief! Give me back that money ! [ They 
fight , and the bill is torn in two, each getting a 
piece.~] 

BONIFACE. 

Now you '11 have to come, too. 

DAMON. 

We will all go. The shepherdesses have 



64 Daphne. 

flouted us this many a day. Let them see 
how they like it without us, say I. 

ALL. 

And I ! 
[Boniface, Lucian, and Shepherds sing."] 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

To a far foreign, far foreign land 
Let us hie, 
You and I ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

Oh, yes, and the whole shepherd band ! 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

On Daphne, the queen shepherdess, 
The effect 
Of neglect 
Let us try, 
You and I ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

Oh, yes, 
To all of the shepherdess train, 

Caviare 

That we are ! 
We have thought so again and again ! 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

In the night, like the night we '11 depart ! 



Daphne. 65 

SHEPHERDS. 

Softly glide 
Like the tide ! 



BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

Our absence may soften her heart ! 
No token, no sign, let us leave, 
Nor address ! 

SHEPHERDS. 

Oh, yes ; 
Then how they will miss us and grieve ! 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

For longest to earth is the day, 

Gentle nun, 

When the sun 
From its earth-queen is farthest away! 

ALL. 

Ah, longest to earth is the day, 

Gentle nuns, 

When your suns 
From their earth-queens are farthest away ! 

[They all shoulder their crooks as if about 
to depart. Lucian kisses his hand with 
a loud smack to Daphne's window. 
Boniface turns hastily.] 



66 Daphne. 

LUCIAN. 

[Guiltily.] I was only killing a mosquito ! 

BONIFACE. 

Suppose we serenade her ? 

LUCIAN. 

The mosquito ? She 's dead ! 

BONIFACE. 

No ; Daphne. 

LUCIAN. 

She 's asleep, so what 's the good ? 

BONIFACE. 

Art for art's sake always. Also, meine 
Herrschaft, stand by ! 

\_All group themselves beneath Daphne's 
window ?{ 

BONIFACE. 

[Sings.] 

Pillowed lying white and saintly 
Where her breath comes soft and warm, 
Song of mine, go, — touch her faintly, 
Troubling not her maiden dorm ! 

Woodbine, sweet as aenomel is, 
Since my voice she may not hear, 



Daphne. 67 

Set your foot upon the trellis ; 
Breathe my message in her ear ! 

Jasmine stars of moonlit amber, 
Look you where I may not peep; 
Lightly to her casement clamber, 
Cast your fragrance on her sleep. 

Wind that stirs yon silken tassel, 
Lay your lips not on her cheek — 
Kiss the hand that I, her vassal, 
Fain would kiss, but dare not seek. 

Countless stars, upon her slumber 
Throw, like prayers, your holy light — 
Countless — yet my vows outnumber 
All the stars that crown the night ! 

[ Orchestral interlude. 

XJVith increasing vehemence .1 

The moon like a silver sickle 
Is mowing the star-strown sky. 

maid, forgetful — or fickle — 
Good-bye ! [Removes cap.~j 

1 bid you good-bye ! 



Good-bye 



ALL. 

[Very loud.~\ 



68 Daphne. 

BONIFACE. 

I worshipped mickle 
Your rosebud face, 
Forgetting the prickle 
That guards your grace. 

ALL. 

Her rosebud face 

He worshipped mickle. 

Did n't he know that roses prickle ? 

[Surprised. 

LUCIAN. 

[Sever ely.~\ 
The plucker forswears the rose 
Since the rose the plucker would prickle ! 

BONIFACE. 

Bloom on within your garden fair, 
While I — I go — I know not where ! 
False flower, why should you feign to care 
That your lover is standing nigh, 
With a swan-song note of profound despair, 
Singing, Good-bye, 
Forever, Good-bye ! 

ALL. 

[Very loud.~\ 
Good-bye ! 

[Orchestral interlude while all recover 
breath. ~\ 



Daphne. 6o 



BONIFACE. 

The rose that budded in June 
Hath withered before July. 
Since you could forget so soon, 
Good-bye ! 

I bid you good-bye ! 

ALL. 

Good-bye ! 

BONIFACE. 

You promised last June 

To be my bride. 

You were to me as moon to tide ! 

ALL. 

To be his bride 

She promised last June. 

He was to her as tide to moon ! 

[ Telling one another. 

LUCIAN. 

Perfidious bride ! 

Inconstant moon ! 

Since the moon can forget the tide, 

The tide cuts loose from the moon ! 

BONIFACE. 

Sleep on within your silken nest ! 
Break not, O moon, your golden rest ! 
Cold planet, why should you be distressed 



yo Daphne. 

That the tide is surging high, 
With a passionate heart in its heaving breast, 
Roaring, Good-bye ! 
Forever, Good-bye ! 
Good-bye ! 

ALL. 

Cold planet, why should you be distressed 
That the tide is surging high, 
With a passionate heart in its heaving breast, 
Roaring, Good-bye ! 
Forever, Good-bye ! 
Good-bye ! 

[Tremendous clash of instruments and quick 
curtain. Second picture, if the audience 
demands it, shows Boniface and Lucian, 
followed by the shepherds, marching 
away up the hills, and Daphne and the 
shepherdesses, in white cutty-sarks, peep- 
ing out of window.] 

DAPHNE. 

As if any one could sleeo through such a 
noise as that ! 



[End of Act I.] 



ACT II. 

[A short interval of time is supposed to 
have elapsed since the end of the first 
act. The curtain rises to seductive 
music, and discloses an attractive spot 
in the domain of Gumbo, the Fiji mon- 
arch. A sign-post indicates the direction 
of Arcadia and that of Gumbo's palace, 
the walls of which are visible. There 
are hay-cocks in the offing, and a wind- 
mill beside a stream. Boniface, who is 
covered with flour, assisted by some 
Fijis, is carrying a sack of flour out of 
the mill. Exhausted, he sits on the 
sack, whereon the Fijis seat themselves 
also. Sally is rinsing clothes in the 
stream. Soon she comes up and ties a 
clothes-line from the sign-post to a tree, 
and pegs out a row of black stockings, 
meanwhile casting coquettish glances at 
Boniface.] 

BONIFACE AND FIJIS. 

[Sing.] 
Mill in meadow where river comes winding ; 
Water turns wheel, and wheel does the 
grinding. 

Miller of tradition, jolly and hearty, 
Always a well-to-do, easy-going party — 
Always ready to while away an hour. 



j 2 Daphne. 

Farmer grows the wheat, and wheat makes 

flour; 
Never by cares of business opprest, 
Water turns wheel, and wheel does the rest. 
Um-um, um-um, um-um-um-um-um-um. 

[During the chorus they turn their thumbs. 

Miller of tradition always has a daughter ; 

Water runs by mill, and mill 's run by water. 

Listen to the wheel go splash-splish-splash- 
ing! 

Miller need never his spirit be fashing. 

Wheel grinds flour and drops it into sacks ; 

(Miller so good-natured his morals may be lax). 

Miller's boy weighs sacks when he has leis- 
ure ; 

Miller does n't mind if he gives good measure. 

[Chorus as before. 

Water comes merrily rushing by in spring, 
Water turns wheel, so miller likes to sing. 
River dries up as soon as summer comes, 
Wheel stops turning, and miller turns his 

thumbs. 
Soon as 'tis winter, river freezes up, 
Mill cannot work, so miller eases up; 
River comes hurrying by in the fall, 
Mill works, and miller need n't work at all. 

[Chorus as before. 



Daphne. 73 

Work, folks complain, " is one demnition 

grind;" 
Wheel does the grinding, so miller does n't 

mind. 
Listen to the wheel go plash-plish-plashing ! 
Miller need never his spirit be fashing; 
Easy his conscience, peaceful his breast, 
Miller does the resting and mill does the 

rest ! 
Winter and summer, spring-time or fall, 
Mill works and miller never works at all ! 

[ Chorus as before. 

BONIFACE. 

And now, my good fellows, get to work 
again ! Remember that the secret of suc- 
cess is to stick to one's trade ! I only wish 
my trade wouldn't stick so confoundedly to 
me ! [The Fijis retire, and Boniface brushes 
the flour from his coat.l 

CHEF. 

[Comes from the palace singing. ~\ 

Oh, it 's baking and brewing by morning, 
And ovens that sizzle and burn, 
And sauce at a two-minutes' warning, 
And roasts to be done to a turn ! 

[He helps himself to four from sacL~\ Some 



74 Daph 



ne. 



flour for my pie-crust ! O young man, young 
man, why do you always idle away your time ? 



BONIFACE. 

And why not, Cooky ? 

CHEF. 

All I can say, sir, is that if Gumbo catches 
you at it — he 's such a disciplinarian ! You 
know what became of your predecessor ? 

BONIFACE. 

Cooky, I am but a poor poet, but I prom- 
ise you an MS. volume of my works — a 
priceless gift, I assure you — if you will help 
me escape from this lurid country and get 
back to Arcadia ; for do what I will, I can- 
not find the way. 

CHEF. 

Arcadia ! Arcadia ! I fancy I was born 
there. Dim visions of it come back to me 
sometimes when things go particularly well, 
as, for instance, when the gravy is lyric in its 
excellence, or His Majesty has praised the 
soup. 

BONIFACE. 



Eh, Cooky, you are one of us 



Daphne. 75 

CHEF. 

Oh, no, sir ! But once I nearly fell asleep 
while chopping suet, and I dreamed that I 
was dead and back there again. It is a pleas- 
ant country, — is it not, sir ? — where people 
live on sweets without satiety — 

BONIFACE. 

Yes, yes ! 

CHEF. 

And dance to merry music, and do not 
worry about the pastry — 

BONIFACE. 

No, no ! 

CHEF. 

And where everybody loves everybody — 

BONIFACE. 

Yes, yes ! No — not quite everybody — 
or sometimes too much everybody. That is 
why I came away ! [Bursts into tears. 

CHEF. 

[Pats him on the back.'] There, there ! I 
myself, when in knickerbockers — she was a 
slim child of ten — but she took to ballet- 
dancing. Come, cheer up ! I '11 send you 
out a marrow-bone to peck at, and a little 
curly tart ! 



y6 Daphne. 

BONIFACE. 

Stay and talk to me about Arcadia. The 
marrow-bone can come later. 

[Weeps on Chef's shoulder. 

CHEF. 

Lord preserve us, man, you 're crying into 
the flour, and my paste will be too salt ; and 
it 's as much as my place is worth, let alone 
my life ! Oh, my ! Oh, my ! 

[Skips into palace, singing. ~\ 

There is steaming and stewing by daytime, 
And lobsters just fresh from the sea, 
And plotting at pastry for playtime, 
And roasts to be done to a T ! 

BONIFACE. 

Unfeeling brute ! [Calls after kim.~\ Don't 
forget the marrow-bone ! [Sits.~\ O Daphne, 
Daphne ! I shall never look at a woman 
again. [Buries his face in his hands. 

SALLY. 

High-ho ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Looks up.~\ Is that a storm rising ? No, it 
is only Sally displaying her high hose ! 

[Buries face again. 




SALLY 

Displaying her high hose.' : 



Daphne. 77 

LUCIAN. 

[ Wrapped in long cloak comes from palace ; 
soliloquizes.] If I could only find my way 
from this accursed spot — 

BONIFACE. 

[To himself.'] O Daphne ! 

LUCIAN. 

[To himself] Daphne, Daphne, the very 
woods re-echo that beloved name ! She is 
the only woman in the world for me. Daphne ! 

SALLY. 

[Sees Lucian.] Here comes t' other. 
Now for the loudest in my repertory. High- 
ho l 

LUCIAN. 

Eh ? [Sees Sally.] I always did prefer 
to scan a clothes-line to anything in Homer, 
particularly when — [Ogles Sally. 

BONIFACE. 

[To himself] Decidedly, there is some- 
thing very captivating in Sally's way of hang- 
ing out the wash ! 

[Sally sings, and Boniface and Lucian listen 
from opposite sides of the stage, each 
unseen by the other.] 



Daph 



ne. 



SALLY. 

The rose gives kisses on credit 
To zephyr, frolic and free. 
By you, O rose, he has sped it, 
That you might give it to me. 
A kiss ! 

Ah, what does it mean ? 
Ah, zephyr ! Ah, rose ! Ah, me ! 
In twinkling stars I 've read it 
As plainly as plain could be. 
My heart and the rose have said it, 
But when will he say it to me ? 
I wonder 
When will he say it to me ! 

\_DanceSj using the clothes-pegs like castanets. 

On your crimson lips I press it, 
Queen rose, so stately and slim. 
If envious zephyr assess it, 
Why, nestle it closer for him ! 
A kiss ! 

If you know what it mean, 
Go, whisper it, zephyr, to him ! 
And the twinkling stars will guess it, 
And laugh when the day grows dim. 
Sh, rose ! If I confess it, 
Why — never a word to him ! 
I wonder 
When may I tell it to him ! 

[She dances as before. 



Daphne. 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

[Goes on hanging out the wash. 

LUCIAN. 

Brava, brava ! [Going to her. 

BONIFACE. 

Sally, what a poetic, high-strung tem- 
perament is yours — and to think I never 
realized it till this minute ! [Going to her. 

LUCIAN. 

Really, Sally, — I never noticed it till now, 
— but you are far from unattractive. And 
your heels, Sally, at times are quite above 
your ordinary walk in life ! 

BONIFACE. 

Confound the beggar's impudence, whoever 
he is ! I say, Sally — 

SALLY. 

1 thought the stocking act 'ud fetch 'em ! 
[Affects great surprise on seeing Lucian.] Lor, 
sir, how you did startle me ! And you, sir 
[to Boniface] ! I never dreamed that you 
were there ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Not recognizing Boniface.] I beg your 
pardon, sir ! 



8o Daph 



ne. 



[Lucian elbows Boniface away, and tries to 
put his arm round Sally, an incident 
which shows that the heart of man in 
sentimental straits is yet susceptible of 
consolation.] 

[Boniface, Lucian, and Sally sing.'] 

BONIFACE. 

[Pushing Lucian away.] 
Tilly-vally, smicker boy, 
With my Sally would you toy — 
With my Sally, jimp and coy ? 
Much you do my soul annoy ! 
Tilly-vally ! 

lucian. 

Here no longer shilly-shally, 
Nor with Sally dilly-dally ! 
Back to your ancestral bally 
Walk, most energetically. 
Tilly-vally ! 

\He pushes Boniface. 

sally. 

It would seem the cases tally, 
You and you — you both love Sally. 
Me — a lily of the valley, 
Just a little simple Sally. 
Tilly-vally ! 



Daphne. 81 



LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 



Right you are, the cases tally, 
Though a lily of the valley, 
Most enthusiastically 
Do we love you, simple Sally. 
Tilly-vally ! 



ALL THREE. 



Right j£ e u y are, the cases tally, 
Though a lily of the valley, 
Most enthusiastically 
Do t £? y love *£ simple Sally. 
Tilly-vally ! 



BONIFACE. 



Tilly-vally — press your claim ; 
I can see your wicked game ; 
She will love me all the same ; 
Thus alone my scorn I frame, 
Tilly-vally ! 



LUCIAN. 



Sally is my only claim 

(Sarah is her real name) ; 

I shall press her just the same ; 

Thus — and so ! [Arm round Sally. 



82 Daphne. 

SALLY. 

[Escaping.] 
Oh, fie ! For shame ! 
Tilly-vally ! 

ALL. 

Sally is ™l Y only claim 
(Sarah is {g. real name) ; 
y * u shall press Jf e r just the same ; 
Thus — and so. 
Oh, fie ! For shame ! 
Tilly-vally ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Falling on Lucian.] Viper ! Adder ! Rat- 
tlesnake ! 

LUCIAN. 

Hold ! Where do I know that voice — 
those old caressing epithets ? What ! Boni- 
face ? 

BONIFACE. 

Lucian ? It is Lucian ! 

LUCIAN. 

Yes, it is Lucian, tricked out in the dis- 
carded waterproof of a Boston missionary — 
thank Heaven, my Sophomores cannot see 
me ! — but the night we were taken captive, 



Daphne. 83 

I represented myself to Gumbo as ambassa- 
dor extraordinary from the United States, and 
he made me wear this as robe of office ! 

[Sally listens intently. 

BONIFACE. 

The mill had gone on strike, so he set me 
to milling. No wonder you failed to recog- 
nize in me Boniface the Beautiful ! If only 
there were some means of escaping from this 
place — but — 

LUCIAN. 

You have no means. Nor I. And I can't 
recall the way. I wonder what became of 
our comrades. 

BONIFACE. 

Killed in the skirmish, no doubt, poor lads ! 
I did not wait to see. 

LUCIAN. 

Poor lads ! But that comes of not going to 
college. My academic legs are my strongest 
point. They carried me through the cur- 
riculum and got me my degree. 

BONIFACE. 

I wonder if Daphne misses us ! 



84 Daphne. 

SALLY. 

[ Overhearing. ~\ Daphne? Who's Daphne? 

LUCIAN. 

Pining at our absence, no doubt. Sweet 
girl ! I cannot bear to think of her anxiety. 

[ They link arms and walk away, forgetting 
Sally.] 

SALLY. 

What ! Me, a lily of the valley, clean for- 
got ! \_W.ipes eyes on wash.~\ Daphne, indeed ! 
If ever I get hold of their Daphne, I '11 make 
things pleasant for her, won't I just ! High- 
ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

[Daphne, the Fat Fairy, and all the shep- 
herdesses run on in great confusion, 
frightened and panting for breath.] 

DAPHNE, FAT FAIRY, AND SHEPHERDESSES. 

iSing.-] 
Oh, was it a cow with a crumpled horn, 
Or a martial horse with a switching tail, 
Or a herd of geese, or a shoal of fawn, 
Or an ostrich, 

Tiger, 

Mule, 

Or whale ? 
[ With their parasols.^ Shoo ! Shoo ! Shoo ! 



Daphne. 85 

Oh, was it a pig with malevolent eye, 
Or was it a ram with ill-intent, 
Or a wild-cat, 

Polar bear passing by, 
Or merely a goat on mischief bent ? 
[With their parasols 7\ Shoo ! Shoo ! Shoo ! 

Oh, was it a ghost or a white banshee, 
Or a will-o'-the-wisp with alluring light, 
Or a rat, 

Or mouse, 

Or a wasp, 

Or bee, 
Or a rattlesnake with a rattling bite ? 
[With their parasols .] Shoo ! Shoo ! Shoo ! 
[They sink down exhausted. 

SALLY. 

My belief is the whole pack of them is 
Daphnes ! [To herself. 

PHYLLIS. 

I 'm hungry ; I want to go back to Arcadia ! 

SALLY. 

That 's a Daphne, sure ! 

MARIGOLD. 

I 'm frightened ; I want to go home ! 



86 Daphne. 

SALLY. 

She 's another Daphne ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

I don't mind spiritual affliction, but when 
it comes to mice or caterpillars I 'm such a 
timid little sprite ! 

SALLY. 

And you 're an unabridged full-blown 
Daphne, you are ! 

DAPHNE. 

\To Fat Fairy.] Now if you're going 
to be a wet blanket, you had better go home ! 

SALLY. 

And she 's the Daphniest of the lot ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

I 'm not a wet blanket. In other people's 
misfortunes I 'm a regular little streak of sun- 
shine. But I do not want to be gored to 
death by a mad bull. Besides, it would be 
better to be a living wet blanket than a dead 
streak of sunshine any day ! [ Whimpers. 

DAPHNE. 

Courage, dear companions. Do you not 
realize that under the pretext of seeking 



Daphne. 87 

Boniface and Lucian we are enjoying the 
luxury of foreign travel ? 

SALLY. 

Boniface and Lucian ! Aha ! 

DAPHNE. 

Get out the guide-book, Phyllis, and see if 
we ought not soon to strike a cathedral or a 
ruin. 

FAT FAIRY. 

I 'd sooner strike a restaurant ! 

DAPHNE. 

As soon as Boniface and Lucian left, I 
realized how little real affection I entertained 
for both of them put together. Now one 
substantial husband in the hand would be 
worth twenty impecunious lovers in the bush ! 
[Shepherdesses shriek. 

PHYLLIS. 

Did you say you saw something in the 
bush ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

Shoo ! Shoo ! 

DAPHNE. 

Peace, my silly-sillies, and take heart, for 
who knows what the future holds for us ? 



88 Daphne. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[ Wave parasols?] Hooray ! Who knows ? 

SALLY. 

[Apart, vindictively^] Yes, who knows ? 

DAPHNE, FAT FAIRY, PHYLLIS, MARIGOLD, 
AND SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing.] 
O tale untold ! O world unknown ! 
O golden time that is to be ! 
O day unborn ! O rose unblown ! 
Come, tell your message quick to me ! 
Who comes from out that lointain land 
Where amaranth immortal grows, 
To woo my heart and win my hand ? 
Who knows ? Ah, me ! Who knows ? 

Oh, will he ride a fiery steed, 
And come with clank of sword and spur, 
With dauntless will and daring deed, 
To storm my heart — as if hearts were 
Fortresses, held by stubborn foes ? 
Shall I, to prove him, hold the field, 
Resisting, — while I long to yield ? 

Who knows ? Ah, me ! Who knows ? 

Or, like Sir Galahad, hath sworn 
To things divine his spotless youth ; 



Daphne. 89 

Upon his brow the light of morn, 
Within his soul the soul of truth ? 
Shall I to him my heart disclose, 
As mignonette must give her sweet, 
Lest one pass by with heedless feet ? 
Who knows ? Ah, me ! Who knows ? 

And will he come in brave attire, 
With power, rank, and broad demesne ; 
Or only rich in sacred fire, 
High thoughts that make men kings of men ? 
And it my diadem shall be 
- That me of all the world he chose, 
For life, love, heaven ? Yet, ah, me ! 
Who knows ? Ah, me ! Who knows ? 

DAPHNE. 

And now let us proceed. We can practice 
foreign tongues on the natives ! 

SALLY. 

Unless they practice their native teeth on 
you first, my lady ! \To herself. 

FAT FAIRY. 

\_Sees the zvash.'j Shoo ! Shoo ! 

DAPHNE. 

[Severely.'] I beg your pardon ? 



90 Daphne. 

FAT FAIRY. 

I only said shoo — a propos de bottes, don't 
you know ? I saw stockings, and that naturally 
made me say shoo. Shoes and stockings, 
don't you know ? 

DAPHNE. 

At any rate, if there is a wash there must 
be wearers. You often hear of people without 
clothes, but you never heard of clothes with- 
out people ! 

SALLY. 

Oh, I '11 Daphne you ! [Very loud.'] High- 
ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

[All look round and see Sally. 

DAPHNE. 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! I wonder 
what language that is. Suppose you go ask 
her [to Fat Fairy] . 

fat fairy. 
No, you do. Your accent is ever so much 
better than mine. 

DAPHNE. 

No, you do. 

[They contend, as do ladies in a street-car 
as to who shall pay the conductor, and 
it ends by all pushing the Fat Fairy 
toward Sally.] 



Daphne. qi 

[Fat Fairy and Sally sing.~\ 

FAT FAIRY. 

O little maid, 

In costume truly rural 

Why in the shade 

Do you sing tooly-looral ? 

ALL. 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

SALLY. 

O person staid, 

Long since a blossom mural, 

When in the shade 

Why not sing tooly-looral ? 

ALL. 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

O saucy jade, 

With accent non-caesural. 

What ambuscade 

Lies hid in tooly-looral ? 

ALL. 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 



g2 Daphne. 



SALLY. 

You, in life's shade, 
With ear for song aneural, 
Do not upbraid 
My tuneful tooly-looral ! 

ALL. 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

Do not evade 

With meaningless obscural. 

Pray call a spade 

A spade, not tooly-looral ! 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

Is this Port Said ? 

The Alps ? Or Mountains Ural ? 

Boulogne ? Belgrade ? 

Or just High-tooly-looral ? 

High-ho ! High-tooly-looral ! 

[Sally runs up to the sign-post and points 
to the arm which says, " Land of the Fijis."~\ 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Shriek.-] Fijis! Oh! 

DAPHNE. 

Fear not ! Evidently civilization is on 
foot. \_Points to stockings. 



Daphne. 93 

SALLY. 

Only knee-deep, though — Daphne ! 

DAPHNE. 

And remember, every Lent we work them 
flannel petticoats and lunch-doylies ! 

SALLY. 

Yes, and we sell 'em to summer tour- 
ists as native curiosities — Daphne ! 

DAPHNE. 

And see, there is a mill ! They must eat 
bread ! 

SALLY. 

Yes, sandwiches — Daphne ! [She makes 
a frightful grimace , and all the Shepherdesses 
shriek in wild ajfright.~\ 

DAPHNE. 

I feel my courage rising with every new 
danger. Brave savages, how I long to meet 
them ! My pulses leap at the very thought 
of the encounter. 

SALLY. 

I '11 go tell Gumbo they 're here ! 

[Runs to palace. 



o4 Daphne. 

[Daphne sings, the shepherdesses play on 
their parasols with their crooks like vio- 
lins, and the Fat Fairy plays up and 
down the clothes-line as if on the key- 
board of a piano.] 

[Daphne and Shepherdesses sing.'] 

DAPHNE. 

Oh, I 'm going to sing to Fijis, 

In strains so enchanting 

That naught will be wanting 

To bring them all down on their knees, 

Their cannibal-nibble-ble knees ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

We '11 join in the chorus, 
And how they '11 adore us, 
Those fatuous, foolish Fijis ! 

DAPHNE. 

For I 'm going to sing to Fijis-jis-jis ! 

In a musical go-as-you-please, please, please, 

In chopped-up staccatos, 

In throbbing vibratos, 

Appassionatos, 

Molto squeakissimo, 

Piano pianissimo, 

Forte fortissimo, 

Crescendo rococos, 

Allegro-con-fuocos. 



Daphne. 95 

This sweet hocus-pocus so jocose 
I '11 hurl at those vanquished Fijis ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

This sweet hocus-pocus so jocose 
We '11 hurl at those vanquished Fijis ! 



DAPHNE. 



Oh, I 'm going to sing to Fijis ! 
You '11 find they '11 surrender 
When my accents tender 
Break forth into high upper C's ! 
Wagnerian high upper C's ! 



SHEPHERDESSES. 



We '11 echo your note, 

And how we shall float 

On the crest of those high-rolling seas ! 



DAPHNE. 



For I 'm going to sing to Fijis-jis-jis, 
AH over the pi-a-no keys, keys, keys, 

With wild bravura, 

And fioriatura, 

Appogiatura, 

In tempo rubato, 

With flute obligato, 

Improvisato. 

In fuga canomic, 



96 Daphne. 

With scale diatonic, 
This passion platonic, euphonic, 
I '11 hurl at those vanquished Fijis ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

This passion platonic, euphonic, 
We '11 hurl at those vanquished Fijis ! 

DAPHNE. 

Now let us advance boldly, and take the 
palace by storm ! 

[They all put up their parasols and prepare 
to advance. Just then the palace door 
opens, and Gumbo and the Fijis come 
down in a procession, preceded by an 
execrable band of native music. The 
shepherdesses all shriek with fright and 
crouch down in a corner, huddled to- 
gether under their parasols, which wob- 
ble with emotion every time Gumbo 
speaks.] 

FIJIS. 
LSing.-] 
Hoky-poky, winky wang, 
Fliggaty floggety, busky bang ; 
Higgledy, piggledy, quiggledy quang, 
The king of the Cannibal Islands. 

[A camp-stool is placed for Gumbo, who 
sits to a violent chord, or discord, of 
music] 



Daphne. 97 



GUMBO. 

First of all, haul up that extraordinary am- 
bassador. [LuciAN is brought before him.~\ 
Well, sir, and what has vour government to 
say for itself to-day ? 

LUCIAN. 

I just had a postal from it, your majesty. 
They are only waiting to get the country re- 
papered, financially speaking, before they im- 
plore your exaltedness to annex it to your 
own domain ! 

GUMBO. 

Very neat, sir. Live a little longer, while 
I dally with the thought. 

[LuciAN bows and retires. 

DAPHNE. 

[ To Shepherdesses.] Lucian ! 

GUMBO. 

Where 's that miller-chap ? [Boniface is 
produced.] I 'm not at all satisfied with the 
flour, lately, young man. The bread would 
be better if you did n't loaf so much ! [ To 
Fijis.] Well, have you nothing to say to 
that ? 

FIJIS. 

Oh, ha, ha, ha ! 



98 Daphne. 

GUMBO. 

I thought so ! Well, young man ? 

BONIFACE. 

Please, your grace, but 't is not my fault if 
the bread 's poor. The flour 's bolted. 

GUMBO. 

What ! [Starts up.~] The flour 's bolted ? 
Where to ? Every one go look for it. I 
offer a reward for its apprehension ! 
[Chef restrains Gumbo and whispers to him. 

GUMBO. 

What ! A joke, do you say ? The miller 
joking, forsooth ! Is it at my expense, sirrah ? 

BONIFACE. 

Not at all, sire. I make it a present to 
your H. R. H. 

GUMBO. 

Good. I '11 work it up a bit and sell it 
myself to the papers ! 

[Boniface bows and withdraws. 

DAPHNE. 

[To Shepherdesses.] It is Boniface ! 



Daphne. 99 

GUMBO. 

And now let us think of dinner. 

CHEF. 

\With menu.] Where shall I begin, sire? 

GUMBO. 

With the soup. Soup first, as a matter of 
course ! [ To Fijis.] Well ? 

FIJIS. 

Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ! 

CHEF. 

[Sings.'] 

Item one on the bill of fare : 
Consomme a la missionaire ; 
Fowl, canvass-backed politicians 

Served with capers ; 
Nuts, jokelets from the comic papers ! 

[All groan. 
Dessert, — I find it hard to vary, — 
Tart, a la lady-missionary ! 

GUMBO. 

I can't stand this much longer. You will 
lose your head — I mean literally — unless 
you devise something new. 



ioo Daphne. 

CHEF. 

I will look about me, sire ! [Does so, and 
sees parasols.~\ Ha ! an inspiration ! What 
does your majesty say to some nice, new-laid 
mushrooms ? 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Angry ^\ Mushrooms, indeed ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

Well, I 'm getting an attack of mushroom- 
atism, or something, from this cramped posi- 
tion ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Sh! 

GUMBO. 

[Looking at parasols, which Instantly begin to 
flutter^ Mushrooms ? Are you quite sure 
they are good ? 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Are we good ? Oh ! 

CHEF. 

Quite good, your majesty. They only be- 
have this way for fear they shall be taken for 
toadstools ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Toadstools, indeed ! 

[They stand up and sing. 



Daphne. 101 

We are little shepherdesses, 
Copied out of books of beauty. 
Combing out our golden tresses 
Is our pleasing duty ! 

GUMBO. 

Dear me ! How very extraordinary ! I 
never heard of singing mushrooms before ! 

[Lucian and Boniface run toward each other 
from opposite directions, while Daphne 
and the shepherdesses are grouping 
themselves in front of Gumbo.] 

BONIFACE. 

[Drawing Lucian to one side, sings at 

the top of his lungs, ,] 

Permit this whisper in the softest stage aside, 

Yonder she stands — Daphnee, our mutual 

bride ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Sings at the top of his lungs. ] 
Strange ! Came I this same secret to confide, 
That yonder stands Daphnee, our mutual 
bride ! 

BOTH. 

Our mutual bride ! Hush ! Let us hearken 
if she keeps her troth 

BONIFACE. 

To me ! 



102 Daphne. 

LUCIAN. 



To you ! 
To you ? 
To me ! 
To both ! 



BONIFACE. 

LUCIAN. 

BOTH. 



GUMBO. 

[Sings, to Shepherdesses.] 
Come here, my little dears ! 

FIJIS. 

The term 's addressed to you ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

What shall we do ? 

GUMBO. 

Lay aside your fears ! 

I 'm really quite a tender-hearted feller, 

So, pray, let each put down her sun-umbrella! 

FAT FAIRY. 

Best flatter him 

With quaint and pleasing lie ! 

DAPHNE. 

O monster grim ! 



Daphne. 103 



GUMBO. 



The term does not apply. 
My conquests are — I blush to tell it — thrill- 
ing ! 
Some folks aver I 'm really quite too killing ! 

FIJIS. 

His conquests are — he blushing tells it, 

— thrilling ! 
His victims think he 's really quite too killing. 

GUMBO. 

Behold my subjects' abject loyalty ! 
Brave fellows ! They would live or die for 
me ! 

FIJIS. 

[ Grovel and sing.'J 
This squirming, wriggling motion that you see, 
Not comfortable, but it 's loyalty. 

DAPHNE. 

Behold, O King, our maiden grief! 

GUMBO. 

Fear nothing. Tell me why ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

[To Daphne.] 
Get out your pocket-handkerchief! 



104 Daphne. 

DAPHNE. 

[Pretending to cry A 
O King, have pity ! 



Cry 



FAT FAIRY. 

[To Daphne.] 



GUMBO. 

[Sighs heavily.^ 
Ah, would that I might grant your wish ! 
I 'm such a clement thing ! 

[To Chef.] 

Methinks they '11 make a dainty dish 
To set before a king ! 

FIJIS. 

[Smack their lips.~^ 
Yum, yum ! They *11 make a dainty dish 
To set before a king ! 
With all his savage tastes we don't agree ; 
We echo them from abject loyalty. 

[They grovel. 
daphne. 
Beneath your hideous savage guise 
Lurks there no kindly heed ? 

GUMBO. 

Methinks her words more true than wise. 



Daphne. 105 

FIJIS. 

They are. 

GUMBO. 

[To Daphne.] 
But pray proceed ! 

DAPHNE. 

We 've wandered from far Arcady, 
O King— - 

FAT FAIRY. 

Our native place ! 

DAPHNE. 

Seeking the shepherd company, 
Lucian and Boniface. 
And high and low and near and far 
We 've sought and sought in vain ! 
Forgotten we — or dead they are ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

He 's touched ! Cry hard again ! 

[Shepherdesses pretend to cry. 

GUMBO. 

Ah, not unmoved the royal ear 
Hearkens your piteous woes ! 
Trickles the sympathetic tear 
Adown the royal nose ! 



106 Daphne. 

I am the softest-hearted chap 
That ever trod the earth ; 

[Indulges in burst of grief .] 

Excuse me — but your hapless hap — 

[He is choked by emotion, 

FAT FAIRY. 

[To Shepherdesses.] 
Cry — cry for all you 're worth ! 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

[Apart.'] 
Ah, maiden, constant to your tender oath ! 

LUCIAN. 

She weeps for Lucian ! 

BONIFACE. 

For Boniface ! 

BOTH. 

For both ! 

[Daphne and Shepherdesses sing.] 
daphne. 
Useless for maid to sit and spin 
Beside the cottage door — 
By open door at eve comes in 
Shepherd no more ! 
The pipes of Arcadia are still ! 



Daphne. 107 

Untended the flocks on the hill ! 

At evening we call to the sheep on the hill, 

Bringing them back to the fold, 

Can, nan, nan, nan, nan, 

Can, nan, nan, nan, nan, 

Can, nan, can, nan, can, nan, 

O sheep, come over the wold ! 

'T is night ; the tale is told ! 

O shepherds and sheep, come back, 

Come back to the fold ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

O sheep, come over the wold ! 
'T is night ; the tale is told ! 
O shepherds and sheep, come back, 
Come back to the fold ! 

DAPHNE. 

Useless for maid to blushing don 

Her modest bridal dress. 

Cometh by day no wooing one 

To shepherdess ! 

The pipes of Arcadia are still ! 

Untended the flocks on the hill ! 

At evening we call to the sheep on the hill, 

Bringing them back to the fold, 

Can, nan, nan, nan, nan, 

Can, nan, nan, nan, nan, 

Can, nan, can, nan, can, nan, 



108 Daphne. 

O sheep, come over the wold ! 
'T is night ; the tale is told ! 
O shepherds and sheep, come back, 
Come back to the fold ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

O sheep, come over the wold ! 
'T is night ; the tale is told ! 
O shepherds and sheep, come back, 
Come back to the fold ! 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

[Apart.] 
Sweet chuck, how for dear life she doth 
beseech ! 

BONIFACE. 

She 'd give her life to live for me — 

LUCIAN. 



For me ! 
For each ! 



BOTH. 



GUMBO. 

[Sings.] 
Much your tale moves me, 
As I said. 

ALL. 

As you said ! 



Daphne. 109 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

[Apart.] 

She weeps. Ah, how she loves me, 
Constant maid, constant maid ! 

[Gumbo and Shepherdesses sing.~\ 

GUMBO. 

I weep for you — but natheless 
I may not dismiss you scatheless 
From this land to which you all too trust- 
ing strayed. 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Then since our tale moves you, 
As you said — 

GUMBO. 

As I said ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

We think, sir, it behooves you 

To give aid, to give aid. 

Not so to play the dragon, 

But to stay with cake and flagon, 

Ere you send us on our journey unafraid ! 

GUMBO. 

\_Speaks.~\ 
I wish I could — but I can't. The cen- 
sus has just been made out for the year, and 



no Daphne. 

I must not tamper with it by encouraging 
immigration ! 

[Gumbo, Fijis, Daphne, and Shepherd- 
esses sing.] 

GUMBO. 

Circumstances — circumstances — 

FIJIS. 

Name for unpropitious chances ! 

GUMBO. 

Over which I 've no control. 

FIJIS. 

Old excuse for horrid role ! 
Our standards are correct to a degree ! 
We only lower them at times through 
loyalty ! 

GUMBO. 

Handicapped by sins ancestral, 
Ah, how sorry is my lot ! 
While my aims are all celestial, 
Oft my objects go to pot. 
Here a score of virgins vestal 
Look upon me as their host ; 
I, despite my mien celestial, 
Mean to serve them up on toast. 




GUMBO 



"While my aims are all celestial 
Oft my objects go to pot." 



Daphne. 1 1 1 

FIJIS. 

Sorry lot of virgins vestal, 
He, your hospitable host, 
Though his mien is all celestial. 
Means to serve you up on toast ! 

DAPHNE. 

Toast us all without avail, 
Hospitable Fiji host ! 
Naught you do could make us quail, 
Though you serve us up on toast ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

No, naught you do could make us quail, 
Though you serve us up on toast ! 

FIJIS. 

How in His Royal Highness' face she flies ! 
Methinks the maiden's words more brave 
than wise ! 

GUMBO. 

Nature formed me all angelic, 
Gentle, wise, and much adored ; 
Race hath left me quite a relic 
Of tradition most deplored ! 
I, who swear by moral suasion 
(Though I do not swear, of course), 
Have been known upon occasion 
To resort to brutal force ! 



ii2 Daphne. 

[Speaks.] 
[To Fijis.] Corroborate me, sirrahs ! 

SHEPHERDESSES AND FIJIS. 

[Sing, while Gumbo dances.] 

He, who swears by moral suasion 
(Though he does not swear, of course), 
Has been known upon occasion 
To resort to brutal force ! 

FIJIS. 

Gentle, noble, tender, wise is he ! 
We speak not from conviction but from 
loyalty ! 

GUMBO. 

I, who drink to prohibition 

(Though I do not drink, you know), 

By this burden of tradition, 

Sometimes let my precepts go ! 

I, who would not kill a beetle, 

Heeded I the voice within, 

Sometimes have to be a leetle 

Drastic in my discipline. [Dances. 

fijis. 
[Shudder.] 
Yes, he 's sometimes just a leetle 
Drastic in his discipline ! 



Daphne. 113 

ALL. 

Strange that his word and his acts are so 
at variance ! 

GUMBO. 

All of my faults are the faults of my 
parients ! 

ALL. 

Such a preux chevalier ! 

GUMBO. 

My faults are all my parents' feu / 

ALL. 

His faults are all his parents' feu ! 

Without such taint, 

Wise and good, 

He a saint 

Would be — of the first magnitude. 

Such a gentle, noble chap, 

Grievous is his handicap ! 

Mild, tender, just, and wise ! 

FIJIS. 

[To Shepherdesses.] 
These, you know, are loyal lies ! 
Come, let the welkin ring with three times 

three 
(That 's nine), a tribute of our loyalty ! 



xi4 Daphne. 

GUMBO. 

And now that we have come to such a 
pleasant understanding, make yourselves at 
home, my dear young ladies, till I decide 
what to do with you. This may be your 
last day on earth, so spend it as agreeably as 
you can. I allow you full liberty of con- 
science, and you can all order new frocks if 
you like — It will cost you nothing, nor me, 
either. We will call this a legal holiday in 
your honor. 

FIJIS. 

Hip, hip, hooray ! 

[Shepherdesses cry very loud. 

GUMBO. 

I own that I am touched. Touched ! Left 
to myself, I should never do anything more 
disastrous to humanity than promiscuous alms- 
giving. But the traditions of my race render 
me bloodthirsty, savage, and unprepossessing. 
Besides, I took a dose of Ibsen this morning, 
and I do not logically see my way to any- 
thing but universal Gloom. However — 

SALLY. 

I 'm afraid he 's going to let 'em off! [She 
thrusts a note into Gumbo's hand and runs 
awayj\ 



Daphne. 115 



GUMBO. 



What is this? [Opens note. ~\ Ill-spelled 
and anonymous and reeking of soapsuds ! 
[Reads.] " Beware of anything that comes 
from Arcadia; it is catching, pertickulerly 
Daphnes ! " Signed, " One who nose." Ar- 
cadia ! Catching! [He puts pocket-handkerchief 
to his nose.] Signed by one who n-o-s-e, 
knows ! It bears the features of truth upon 
the very face of it ! Beware of Arcadia ! — - 
Here, sirrah [to Chef] ! have we any foreign 
relations with Arcadia ? Do we get our gro- 
ceries there ? Because if so, cut them off 
immediately ! 



CHEF. 



Oh, no, sire. Arcadia is very far away. I 
myself was born there once. 

FAT FAIRY. 

Eh? 

GUMBO. 

You tell me to my face that you had the 
audacity to be born there ? In a hostile 
country, eh ? 

CHEF. 

Sire — it was in my extreme youth. 



1 1 6 Daphne. 

GUMBO. 

That is no excuse, sir. Arrest him ! 

[Fijis seize Chef, 
chef. 

It is all one to me, sire. Life has been 
but cold potatoes to me ever since the slim 
child of my boyhood's adoration went into 
the ballet ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

[Shrieks.] Augustus ! Do you not recog- 
nize your Fatima ? 

[She throws herself upon his breast. 

CHEF. 

Fatima ! Only more so ! This is too much 
happiness ! [He weeps. 

GUMBO. 

It is simply the most moving incident I 
have ever witnessed. They shall die together ! 
[ To Fijis.] Arrest Aunty, too ! 

[Fijis seize Fat Fairy. 

daphne. 

Hold ! How dare you ? How dare you, 
I say ! 

GUMBO. 

Eh, Missy, and what have you to say about 



Daphne. 117 

it ? The royal treasury is very low ; but 
I '11 bet a cooky, now [looking at Sally's 
note~\ , that you 're at the bottom of all this 
mischief, and that your name is Daphne ! 

SALLY. 

Ha, ha, ha ! 

DAPHNE. 

My name is Daphne ! 

GUMBO. 

Arrest her. My majesty is not to be tri- 
fled with ! Daphne, indeed ! 

[Fijis seize Daphne. 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

[Rusk forward to rescue ber.~] Daphne, 
Daphne ! 

GUMBO. 

Seize them ! Seize everybody, and the 
whole court go into quarantine. Sentence 
shall be passed on the prisoners to-night. 

[He rises, and the procession forms to march 
toward the palace. Daphne, Boniface, 
Lucian, Fat Fairy, and Chef are led 
captive between Fiji guards, and the 
shepherdesses follow, disconsolately. 
The music strikes up as the procession 
starts.] 



1 1 8 Daphne. 



DAPHNE, 



[Looking meditatively after Gumbo.] If 
that man were only properly trained, what an 
ideal husband he would make ! 

[Loud barbaric music and quick curtain. 



[End of Act II.] 



ACT III. 

[A few hours later. The Fat Fairy is re- 
vealed comfortably seated in a wicker 
chair, while the Chef fans her with an 
enormous cooking-spoon.] 

FAT FAIRY AND CHEF. 

[Sing, « Long Ago."} 

Parted we by fate mischancy 

Long, long ago. 
Sweet those days come back to fancy, 

Days of long ago. 
Laughing Love in myrtle bowers, 

Long, long ago. 
Broke the days in rainbow hours, 

Days of long ago. 
Love blew on a willow whistle, 

Long, long ago. 
Kisses light as down of thistle — 

Days of long ago. 
Love sang in the alder bushes, 

Long, long ago. 
Sighed and shook the bending rushes — 

Days of long ago. 
Give me back, for life's best guerdon, 

Long, long ago ; 



120 Daphne. 

Love, and all Love's singing burden — 
Days of long ago. 

CHEF. 

[Rising.'] I declare it has made me clean 
forget about the dinner, — for though we die 
to-morrow, Gumbo must dine to-night, — and 
there are Saratoga chips to do. My own crisp 
little chippy ! [Kisses Fat Fairy. 

FAT FAIRY. 

O Augustus, must we die ? I can bear 
up beautifully under other people's misfor- 
tunes, but when it comes to being beheaded, 
I sha'n't be worth a pin without a head. 
Could n't we elope ? 

CHEF. 

Alas, I fear not. Gumbo is inexorable, 
and the guards around the city gates have 
been redoubled. 
[Boniface and Lucian approach arm-in-arm. 

LUCIAN. 

Why not bribe the guards ? [Pulls out his 
purse.] I 'm a little short, myself, at present, 
but have n't you any spare change about you, 
Cor" y ? 



Daphne. 121 



CHEF. 



I, sir ? [Pulls out an empty purse, and shakes 
his head ruefully.} 



BONIFACE. 



\_Pulls out an empty purse. ,] And mine is as 
empty as both of yours put together ! Why 
not give a concert ? 

LUCIAN. 

But who 'd come ? No, no ! How much 
better to get up a little revolution ! 

ALL. 

[Putting their heads together} . Yes, yes ! 

[Gumbo comes from the palace and steals up 
behind them?} 

LUCIAN. 

Now, if we were to enter the palace by 
stealth at night and seize Gum — 

GUMBO. 

[Very loud.} Bo ! 

[Ml jump and exclaim with fright. 

GUMBO. 

[Holding his sides with laughter.} Ha, ha, 
ha ! I thought I 'd take you by surprise ! 
There, there, Aunty [pinching Fat Fairy, 



122 Daphne. 

who has fainted on Chef's bosom] , cheer up ! 
Left to myself, of course I should put up the 
banns to-morrow, and send you off on a 
Cook's tour for a honeymoon — but inherited 
qualities, you know ! Oh, it is pathetic ! 
[Brushes sleeve across his eyes. 

FAT FAIRY. 

[Recovering.] I '11 vanish while he is n't 
looking ! [Steals away. 

GUMBO. 

Meanwhile, what can I do for you all to 
sweeten your last moments, as it were ? 
Ask for anything. 

BONIFACE. 

Well, if your H. R. H. would allow me 
to enjoy the arrears of my wages — 

GUMBO. 

Enjoy them, sir ! Get all the enjoyment 
from the arrears you can. I double them on 
the spot. In the abstract, I am the soul of 
generosity. 

LUCIAN. 

Then as there has been an unexpected de- 
lay in my remittances, if your majesty would 
advance me a trifle for postage-stamps — 



Daphne. 123 



GUMBO. 



Postage-stamps ! Did ever anybody hear 
the like ! I suppose you '11 be wanting some- 
thing next [to Chef] ! 

CHEF. 

Well, if your grace would give me an 
order on the treasury for soup-greens — 

GUMBO. 

This is gratitude ! I speak to you in love, 
and you ask for money ! Money — what is 
money ? 

[Pulls out his purse ; they try to clutch it. 

LUCIAN. 

[Grabbing."] Money is a medium of ex- 
change and — 

GUMBO. 

Not at all, sir ! Time is money — and I 
give you all eternity. Love of lucre is the 
root of evil; and yet you ask me, a humane 
man, to give you the most pernicious poison 
ever put into circulation [ Opens his purse and 
pulls out paper.] Here is a little song about 
money which I have written in three-part 
counterpoint to choke off my creditors. You 
will all oblige me by singing it with me. 



124 Daphne. 

- [Sings.] 
It is a curse — [Nods to Boniface. 

BONIFACE. 

[Reluctantly sings.] 
It is a curse — 

GUMBO. 

Pretty good, but sing it with conviction. 
Now you [to Lucian]. 



It is a curse - 


LUCIAN. 

[Sings.] 


Quite right. 


GUMBO. 

Go ahead [to Chef] 


It is a curse - 


chef. 
[Sings.] 




GUMBO. 



So it is. I thought you 'd all come to that 
way of thinking. You see I have treated it 
as a fugue to typify the elusive nature of the 
subject. Now, all stand by, and do not take 
liberties with the tempo. 



Daphne. 125 

BONIFACE, LUCIAN, AND CHEF. 

[Sing, " Money."] 
It is a curse, 
And wise men fear it, 

But fools will barter name and fame — aye, 
worse — 

To hear it ! 

It is deceit, 
Lost in a minute ; 

Yet mortals strive with bleeding hands and 
feet 

To win it ! 

It is a crown, — 
The noble spurn it, 

But many a simple lays his poor life down 
To earn it ! 

It is a goal ; 
Angels disdain it ; 

But fallen angels sell their very soul 
To gain it ! 

GUMBO. 

[Wipes his eyes.] These exalted senti- 
ments are enough to draw tears from a graven 
image ! [ Tosses up his purse, and all try to 
wtch it, but he pockets it.] Now begone, and 



126 Daphne. 

never broach the vulgar subject again. Money, 
indeed ! \^A loud crash, as of china breaking, is 
heard within palace.'] What 's that ? If it is 
Sally in a tantrum, she shall die ! 

FIJIS. 

[Running to Gumbo from palace. ,] O sire ! 
— the little Arcadian is turning the palace 
topsy-turvy ! 

GUMBO. 

\_Jmazed.~\ The little Arcadian — turn- 
ing the palace topsy-turvy ? Well, I '11 be — 
Daphnied ! 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

O Daphne ! 

GUMBO. 

O Daphne ! I '11 Daphne her ! Off with 
her — 

DAPHNE. 

[ Coming from palace, followed by Shepherd- 
esses.] Ah, Gumbo, I was just going to 
send for you. The hour's liberty you gave 
me for exercise I have spent in overhauling 
the china closet. Really, your taste is be- 
neath contempt. I have had the Sunday din- 
ner-set thrown out of window ! 

ALL. 

O Daphne ! 



Daphne. 127 

DAPHNE. 

[Rooting up a tiger-lily .~] Your garden, 
too, looks like a Xmas calendar ! Piff ! 

[Throws the flower away. 

GUMBO. 

Well — I — pinch me [to Chef Chef 
pinches Gumbo. Gumbo squeals.'] How dare 
you, sirrah ! Off with his — 

DAPHNE. 

The whole palace is in a disgracefully ram- 
shackle state, which reminds me to ask, 
Gumbo, — your throne is very roomy, — have 
you no queen ? 

GUMBO. 

I had one once, but in an international game 
of chess I changed her for a pawn. Pray is 
there anything else you would like to know, 
Missy ? 

DAPHNE. 

[Not noticing Gumbo.] Did you ever see 
anything so rakish as those hay-cocks ! Come, 
girls, let us demolish them ! 

DAPHNE AND SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Dance over the hay-cocks^ singing^ 
We are little shepherdesses 
Copied out of books of beauty. 



128 Daphne. 

GUMBO. 

[Furious."] Stop, stop ! My majesty and 
my hay are not to be lightly trampled on ! 
Stop, I say ! — I believe she 's a witch ! [The 
Fijis capture Daphne.] Back with her to 
solitary confinement with bread and water for 
a week, and then off" with her — 

DAPHNE. 

[Pretends to cry.] O Gumbo, we do not 
mind solitary confinement, and we like bread 
and water — but I cannot bear your frown ! 

GUMBO. 

You cannot bear my frown ! Why, I bid 
it in at an auction of the effects of Napoleon 
at St. Helena ! She does not like my frown ! 
Off with her — [Daphne pretends to sob.'] 
What is the matter now ? Have you eaten 
something that disagreed with you ? Because 
if so, I will anticipate your sentence and have 
you put out of pain at once ! 

DAPHNE. 

Alas, I wept to think that your grace, with 
all your wisdom, has never known a heart-beat ! 

GUMBO. 

A heart-beat ! No, I do not know what 
that is. Is it marketable ? Can you fight with 



Daphne. 129 

it ? Is it something good to eat ? That is all 
I care about. 

DAPHNE. 

Ah, no ; a heart-beat may be felt but not 
described ! [Sighs. All sigh. 

GUMBO. 

By the living Jingo, I w ///have it described ! 
Here, extraordinary [to Lucian] ! You al- 
ways have a lot of useless information about 
you. Define a heart-beat ! 

LUCIAN. 

Easily done, sire. If you lean your head 
upon your own heart [every one tries to do if\ , 
which is an impossibility, or upon some one 
else's heart [every one tries to do zV], which is 
an impropriety, you will feel the normal action 
of the heart called systole and diastole — 
thrump-thrump ; thrump-thrump ! 

ALL. 

Thrump-thrump ; thrump-thrump ! 

DAPHNE. 

Ah, that 's not the kind I mean ! 

[Sings, "Systole and Diastole."] 

Did you never hear it beat 
Like the tramp of fairy feet ? — 
Some unspoken wish repeat ! 



130 Daphne. 

Never seemed to wish to rip 
Satin doublet, silken slip ? — 
Some one's name lay on your lip ! 

Never like a bird would fly, 

Beat its cage and seek the sky ? — 

Just pretend that Some one 's by ! 

Did it never palpitate 

At an inconvenient rate, 

Keeping time with Love and Fate ? 

Did it never pause — stand still, 

At some sweet remembered thrill ? — 

Ah, be sure some day it will ! 

Never throbbed within the breast 
For some dear, unbidden guest, — 
Some one dearer than the rest ? 

Never broke its prison bar, 
Winged its flight from star to star, 
Beckoning Some one from afar ? 

Did it never palpitate 

At an inconvenient rate ? — 

If it never did — well, wait ! 

[She laughs and runs away. 



Daphne. 131 

GUMBO. 

Now what the mischief does she mean by 
that? [Calls.] Daphne! 

DAPHNE. 

[Kisses her hand to him.] Wait ! 

[Makes hay with her crook. 

GUMBO. 

Somebody — anybody — everybody — ex- 
plain — 

ARCADIANS. 

[Sing.] 

Well, wait ! 
[Kiss hands to Gumbo, and go and make hay. 

GUMBO. 

I find myself a prey to the most exaspera- 
ting sensations. See here, Aunty [to the Fat 
Fairy, who is trying to keep up with the Shep- 
herdesses], if you want to, you can earn a 
handsome bonus of the royal gratitude by 
prescribing for me. I have to fee the court 
physician every time he doses me, for fear of 
poison — I 'm not myself at all to-day ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

[ Opens reticule^] Anything from sticking- 
plaster to paregoric or just sweet, womanly 
kindness — What are the symptoms, Majesty ? 



132 Daphne. 



GUMBO. 

No, I 'm not myself at all. One minute 
I feel like giving birthday presents to all the 
world, — of course I check the impulse, — 
and the next I am in the royal dumps. I 
plan, but I do not execute. 

FAT FAIRY. 

[Fervently. "\ Thank Heaven for that ! 

GUMBO. 

A pendulum is going, inside my ribs, and 
my fingers feel as if they had just come out 
of curl-papers at the mere mention of a cer- 
tain person's name. Is it witchcraft — -do 
you think — or German measles ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

Neither. [Impressively.'] Majesty, it is 
Love ! 

GUMBO. 

Love ! I, Gumbo, monarch of the Fijis, 
ailing with Love ? Impossible ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

Sire, it is the essence of the impossible, and 
yet — 



Daphne. 133 

GUMBO. 

Love ! Who has dared introduce that per- 
nicious microbe in my domestic interior ? 
'T is not to be endured. Off with his head — 

FAT FAIRY. 

[ Correcting.] Her head ! 

GUMBO. 

Everybody's head ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

Nay, sire. Such measures would only 
prove fatal ! 

GUMBO. 

Such were my intentions — strictly honor- 
able — but fatal ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

To yourself, I meant, Gumbo. 

GUMBO. 

To myself! Ah, I draw the line at that. 
Would you advise me to knock off monarch- 
ing for a week and take to my bed on a diet 
of weak gruel ? 

FAT FAIRY. 

Sire, there is but one cure. Let yourself 
go! 



134 Daphne. 



GUMBO. 

Anywhere. Hoboken, or Old Point Com- 
fort ? 

DAPHNE AND SHEPHERDESSESS. 

[ Tossing hay all over Gumbo.] Peek-a-boo ! 

GUMBO. 

[Scrambling from under the hay.~\ Daphne, 
the whole force of the situation bursts upon 
me. Against my will I love you. In sheer 
self-defence I beseech you, be my bride ! 

DAPHNE. 

[ To Fat Fairy.] I will trifle with him 
awhile ! 

GUMBO. 

Answer, please ! [Seizes her by the hair. 

DAPHNE. 

Your majesty's tender, delicate attentions 
move me greatly. I have always longed to 
meet a character stronger than my own j the 
typical hero of the lady novelist, — an exagger- 
ated Rochester ! 

GUMBO. 

I feel better already. [To Chef.] Fetch 
a parson. 



Daphne. 135 

DAPHNE. 

But, H. R. H. — there is an insurmounta- 
ble obstacle — I am already betrothed to an- 
other. To two anothers ! 

GUMBO. 

This is too much — I mean, too many. 
Two too many. Where are they, that I may 
kill them ? [Boniface and Lucian try each 
to push the other forward^ 

BONIFACE. 

You, brother ! 

LUCIAN. 

No, you ! 

DAPHNE. 

Nay, Gumbo. No maid scruples to break 
a man's heart and blast his life, but to sanc- 
tion bloodshed would be unladylike to the last 
degree ! 

GUMBO. 

Oh, of course I should prefer to put them 
both on the pension list — but heredity, you 
know ! \Walks sulkily away.] I shall kill 
every one who crosses my path ! \_Allrun away. 

DAPHNE. 

He 's very fascinating. So decided ! 
[Coughs.] Ahem ! 



136 Daphne. 

GUMBO. 

Called back. You return my love ? 

DAPHNE. 

Nay — I pigeon-hole it for future consider- 
ation ; meanwhile, would not your grace like 
to offer up the little tribute of a love-song on 
affection's shrine ? 

GUMBO. 

Me — a love-song! [To Chef.] Pinch 
me! [Chef runs away. 

DAPHNE. 

\_Makes to go.~\ It is a pity. Both my other 
fiances warble like choristers. 

GUMBO. 

Wait. I '11 order out the band. Or bet- 
ter — I '11 do it myself, by proxy. Where 's 
that miller-chap ! [To Boniface.] Here, sir- 
rah, look me in the eye ! [He makes mesmeric 
passes before Boniface.] Now, then, con- 
sider yourself hypnotized, and put your best 
foot forward. How will you take it, be- 
loved ? [To Daphne.] 

daphne. 
Short — but ardent ! 



Daphne. 137 

BONIFACE. 

[To Lucian.] What does she mean by 
that ? 

LUCIAN. 

It counts for me, of course. 

BONIFACE. 

Adder ! 

GUMBO. 

Now, then, stroke. Time, I mean ! 

BONIFACE. 

[Sings, " Thou Only/"] 

Thou only, of the whole world wide ! 
Come thou to me, my peerless bride, 

Thy loving arms about me twine, 
Thy heart on mine, thy lips on mine. 

Close gathered in thy fast embrace, 
Kissing thy neck, thy hair, thy face, 

I claim of life a regal dower, — 

One hour with thee, one perfect hour. 

On thy fair bosom's paradise 

Lost worlds I 'd count no sacrifice, 



138 Daphne. 

Nor barter for eternity 

My perfect hour of life with thee ! 

Thou only, of the world unknown ! 
I hold thee fast, one hour, my own, 

And know whereof the linnets sing, 
And all the secrets of the spring. 

Crushing with kisses warm and sweet 
The blossom where thy red lips meet, 

I know what sets the stars at strife, 
What thrills or god, or man, with life. 

The days their golden measure fill ; 
Time folds his wing, the world stands still 

For one immortal ecstasy, — 
One perfect hour of life with thee ! 

[All on the stage and, it is to be hoped, in 
the audience applaud Boniface raptur- 
ously.] 

GUMBO. 
[Furious with jealousy.'] It is my belief 
you 're Another ! Off with his — 

BONIFACE. 

Nay, Gumbo, I am but the mouth-piece ! 
Here is the man who composed that song ! 

\~Pushes LuciAN forward. 



Daphne. 139 

GUMBO. 

Off with their heads, immediately ! [Boni- 
face and Lucian run away in different direc- 
tions, pursued by Fijis. Gumbo takes out purse.~\ 
This to the man that catches them ! [Pockets 
purse.] I '11 go myself and save the money ! 

[All run away. 

SALLY. 

[Comes on holding a large book open.] She 
bewitches every one — but I '11 get even with 
her yet. Daphne, indeed ! [Reads aloud.] 
" And while the goddesses were holding an 
afternoon tea on Mount Olympus, the God- 
dess of Discord, who had not been invited, 
threw an apple into their midst, labeled, 'To 
the Fairest ! ' " 

[She shuts the book with a bang, takes an 
enormous apple from her pocket, with a 
tag tied to the stem. From her bosom 
she takes a bottle marked "Poison," 
and pours drops from it on apple. 
Daphne, Phyllis, and Marigold enter, out 
of breath.] 

PHYLLIS. 

And we shall both be bridesmaids ? 

MARIGOLD. 

Oh, lovely ! What shall we wear ? 



140 Daphne. 

[Lucian steals in, and, seeing that Gumbo is 
away, remains. Sally throws the apple. 
Daphne, Phyllis, and Marigold scramble 
for it. Daphne gets it. Sally is over- 
joyed.] 

DAPHNE. 

[Reads."] " To the Fairest ! " You, dear 
[passing it to Marigold] ! 

MARIGOLD. 

Oh, no, dear ! 

DAPHNE. 

Then you, dear [passing it to Phyllis] ? 

PHYLLIS. 

Nay ; keep it, dear ! 

DAPHNE. 

No, no, dear ! [Sally dismayed. 

PHYLLIS AND MARIGOLD. 

Who, then, dear ? 

DAPHNE. 

Yonder is Lucian. He first taught me 
that I am fair ; he shall decide. [ They run to 
Lucian, tossing the apple back and forth.] 



Daphne. 141 

DAPHNE, PHYLLIS, AND MARIGOLD. 

ISing.] 

Strange the missive that thou bearest, 
Apple, apple, — " To the Fairest ! " 
Hither sent, we know not why. 





DAPHNE. 


T is not I ! 






PHYLLIS. 


Nor I ! 






MARIGOLD. 


Nor I! 





DAPHNE. 

Dropped from what celestial tree ? 

PHYLLIS. 

Not for me ! 

MARIGOLD. 

Nor me ! 

DAPHNE. 

Nor me ! 

TRIO. 

Might we not go share and share 
Equally, since all are fair ? 

\_Pointing to Lucian.] 

Let the wise man yonder grapple 
With the problem of the apple ! 



142 Daphne. 

Apple, apple, ripe and dapple, 
How we long to eat you, apple ! 

LUCIAN. 

[Takes apple. ,] 

O apple ! on the pleached boughs 
Of Eden fair — your tempting rind 
Made Mother Eve forget her vows, 
And leave her innocence behind, 
When she and Adam, apple-wise, 
Alas, were turned from Paradise ! 

TRIO. 

[Deprecating apple.~\ 

Oh, fateful, when the world began ! 
Oh, fell disaster ! Fall of man ! 



LUCIAN. 

When Paris gay on Phrygian hills 
An apple placed in Venus' hand, 
Came countless dire Homeric ills 
Alike on Greek and Ilian land ! 
O apple, you and Helen's eyes 
Broke up a Spartan paradise ! 

TRIO. 

Is that perhaps the reason why 
One says " the apple of one's eye " ? 



Daphne. 143 

LUCIAN. 

While Newton, musing, took his walk 
Beneath (we think) an apple-tree, 
You, apple, apple, broke your stalk 
And gravitated on to he ! 
As Isaac did that fruit enjoy, 
Saith he, " Your past since I recall, 
The fall of man, the fall of Troy, 
Your turn, O apple, 't is to fall ! 
The Earth, that apple swung in space, 
Holds in itself a mighty law, — 
That though man upward turn his face, 
His feet are weighted to the core. 
By you he fell, and may not rise 
To scale his forfeit Paradise ! " 

ALL. 

[Taxing apple with /'/.] 
Oh, fateful, since the world began, 
To fallen Troy — to fallen man ! 
Small wonder, take it all in all, 
That apples ripen in the Fall ! 

LUCIAN. 

And the moral of it lies in the apple-ication ! 
[He takes a large bite, 

ALL. 

[Disappointed.'] Oh ! 



144 Daphne. 

[Lucian falls, apparently lifeless. Sally shrieks 
hysterically and runs away. The shep- 
herdesses all run down and crowd about 
Lucian, as the best-intentioned people 
will at such a time.] 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing.] 
Is he dead ? 
Lay him flat. 
Lift his head. 
Move his hat. 
Fan his brow. 
Feel his heart 
Better now ? 
Try Delsarte. 
Get a chair. 
Give him air ! 
It 's a swoon. 
Loose his tie. 
Better soon. 
Will he die ? 
Conscious yet ? 
Water, please ! 
Vinaigrette ! 
More at ease ? 
Stroke his hair. 
Give him air ! 
Chafe his palms. 
Slap his feet. 



Daphne. 145 

Work his arms. 
Does it beat ? 
Call for aid! — 
" Some one 's ill ! " 
I 'm afraid — 
He 's so still ! 
Say a prayer ! 
Give him air ! 

DAPHNE. 

My poor Lucian ! How I loved him ! If 
it had not been for Boniface — if it were not 
now for Gumbo — \_Sbe bends over Lucian 
and kisses him .] 

LUCIAN. 

[Ti? himself, recovering, unseen by allJ\ At 
this rate I could wish eternity to last forever ! 

DAPHNE. 

Strange — but I fancied when I kissed his 
cold lips that they formed the word " encore ! " 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Jmazed.] Oh ! 

DAPHNE. 

I '11 do it on the chance. Under the cir- 
cumstances, it cannot be deemed unmaidenly ! 



146 Daphne. 

[She kisses him again, and the shepherdesses 
all cover him with hay. Meanwhile, 
Damon and Robin run in, out of breath.] 

DAMON. 

[Astonished. To Robin.] What ! Daphne 
and all the shepherdesses ! 

ROBIN. 

Aye ! And the Fat Fairy, too, as large as 
life! 

DAMON. 

Now what excuse can we make for losing 
Boniface and Lucian and all the shepherd 
train ? 

ROBIN. 

Say they were killed — they may have 
been, for all we know, the night we ran away ! 

DAPHNE. 

[Turns and sees them.~\ Damon and Robin ! 
Welcome ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

Damon ! Robin ! [Falling on their necks. 

DAPHNE. 

But where is the shepherd train ? 



Daphne. 147 

[Damon sobs and points up, Robin sobs and 
points down, meanwhile Lucian quietly 
steals from under the hay into the mill, 
unseen by all.] 

DAMON AND ROBIN. 

[Sing.] 
There *s a low green valley in a land beyond 

the seas, 
Where we bivouacked by night and sang by 

day; 
Where the natives — rather previous and un- 
principled Fijis — 
Came and lured our too-confiding friends 
away ! 
O my comrades, brave and true, 
It was really wrong of you 
To let yourselves be eaten by Fijis ; 
And deprive us of the pleasure, 
Sad and solemn beyond measure, 
Of interring you with proper obsequees ! 

ALL. 

[Sing, weeping.] 
O my comrades, brave and true, 
It was really wrong of you 

To let yourselves be eaten by Fijis ; 
And deprive us of the pleasure, 
Sad and solemn beyond measure, 

Of interring you with proper obsequees ! 



148 Daphne. 



DAPHNE. 

But at any rate, Boniface and Lucian — 

DAMON. 

Perished gloriously ! 

ROBIN. 

Gloriously ! In the front ranks ! 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Amazed.] What ! 

DAPHNE. 

Why, we saw them — heard them — not 
five minutes ago ! 

[Robin nudges Damon, who fidgets uneasily. 

DAMON. 

It must have been their ghosts ! 

ALL. 

Ghosts ! Oh ! [Shudder. 

DAPHNE. 

But see for yourselves ! [She turns up the 
hay with her crook. ~\ What ! Lucian — van- 
ished ! 

ALL. 

[Amazed.] Fancy ! 



Daphne. 149 

ROBIN. 

I told you it was only his ghost ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

I thought there was no body to his voice ! 

[Lucian, unseen^ shakes his fist at her out 
of the mill window.] 

DAMON. 

We will erect monuments to them. They 
perished gloriously ! 

[Sings.] 

While for their sins our comrades dear do 

sizzle, 
I '11 carve their virtues with my little chisel. 

ROBIN. 

I will compile their autobiography ; 
You can compound a little epitaphy. 

DAPHNE. 

O Lucian brave, O Lucian lost, 

O ghost of a love, O love of a ghost ! 

When hope was bright and the noon was 

high, 
And love in sight, why need you die ? 



150 Daphne. 



DAMON. 



His valor overtopped them all ! 
With my own eyes I saw him fall ! 



ROBIN. 



With arrows round us whizzing fast, 
'T was in my arms he breathed his last ! 



DAPHNE. 

With love to take, and love to give, 
Was death so sweet you would not live ? 

ALL. 

O Lucian brave, O Lucian lost, 

O ghost of a love, O love of a ghost ! 

When hope was bright and the noon was 

high, 
And love in sight, why need you die ? 
With love to take, and love to give, 
Was death so sweet you would not live ? 

GUMBO. 

[Runs in, followed by the Fljis. To 
Daphne.] Daphne, I am credibly informed, 
on the authority of Sally, our maid-of-all- 
work, that Lucian is no more. Boniface has 
been discovered hiding in a sack of flour, and 
shall be put to death immediately. You can 



Daphne. 151 

no longer, therefore, plead the excuse of 
Another, one or both ; accordingly — 

DAPHNE. 

Your majesty interrupts. I was just 
mourning both those gentlemen before giving 
myself to newer loves. 

GUMBO. 

[Takes out his watch. .] Five minutes, then. 
I '11 time you ! 

DAPHNE. 

[Sings ^ weeping.] 
He was so gentle, so for-giv-giv-iving. 

ALL. 

[Groan, ,] Oh ! [Weeping. 

DAPHNE. 

Had I but heard 

His last but one word — 

GUMBO. 

This is absurd ! 

ALL. 

[Groan.] Oh ! 

DAPHNE. 

He was so tender, the dear de-par-parted — 



I 5 2 


Daphne. 


\Wail^ 


ALL. 

Oh! 




DAPHNE. 


Mourn for him, maidens, all broken har 
hearted ! 


Bravo ! 


LUCIAN. 




ORCHESTRA. 


Doodle de doodle de do ! 




DAPHNE. 


No parting caress — 


Yes! 


SHEPHERDESSES. 




DAPHNE. 


Spirit hath flown ! — 




SHEPHERDESSES. 


[Sob.] 


Lone — 




DAPHNE. 


Lucian — 


- my own — only ! 


\Groan^\ 


ALL. 

Oh! 




ORCHESTRA. 


Doodle de doodle de do ! 



Daphne. 153 



DAPHNE. 



Cypress shall shade him and weep-eeping 

willow ; 
Only a stone for his little pil-pillow ! 



ALL. 



\With a prolonged groan .] Oh ! 

\A loud wail from the orchestra. 



GUMBO. 

Time's up! [Closes watch with a snap.] 
And now, my adored — [Boniface, cov- 
ered with flour, is led in by Fijis.] 

ALL. 

Boniface ! 

DAMON AND ROBIN. 

[Sing.] 
His ghost ! He fought the best of all ! 
With our own eyes we saw him fall ! 

DAPHNE. 

The ghost of Boniface come to reproach 
me for loving Gumbo ! Forgive me, sweet 
spirit ! 

BONIFACE. 

No, Daphne, I cannot forgive this incon- 
stancy — I, who have always made constancy 



154 Daphne. 

my theme — with variations ! [Lucian, cov- 
ered with flour, is led by Fijis from mill.] 

ALL. 

Lucian ! 

DAMON AND ROBIN. 

[Sing.] 

His ghost ! The shafts were whizzing fast. 
'T was in our arms he breathed his last ! 

DAPHNE. 

The ghost of Lucian come to reproach 
me for propitiating the ghost of Boniface ! 
Forgive me, sweet spirit ! 

LUCIAN. 

Certainly not, Daphne ! I, who have never 
broken my word to you — though I may have 
bent it a little under pressure ! 

GUMBO. 

Off with their heads ! Ghosts ought to 
carry their heads under their arms, like crush 
hats. Where 's the headsman ? 

CHEF. 

Chopping wood, sire, to keep his hand in ! 



Daphne. 155 



GUMBO. 



The blockhead ! Ax him if he will come, 
and ax him if he won't. I must put an end 
to all this ! 

DAPHNE. 

Hark ! What do I hear — the Pipes of 
Arcadia — or is it a dream? [To Gumbo.] 
Sire, your majesty will permit me to with- 
draw. [She retires. 

FAT FAIRY. 

Come, come ! why is every one so down 
in the mouth ? Life and death — what are 
they ? Incidents. Let 's play puss-in-the- 
corner ! Or what do you say to a good old- 
fashioned game of tag? \_To Boniface.] 
You be it ! 

BONIFACE. 

That 's just what I don't want to be — it ! 
[Boniface, Lucian, and Gumbo singJ] 

BONIFACE. 

Go meet your death with smiling face ! 

It won't affect the human race, 

Since some one else will take your place. 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

Would you speak thus if you, not I, 
Had been the one condemned to die ? 



156 Daphne. 

GUMBO. 

[Slaps them on back.] 
Be liberal ! Take larger views ! 
Some better man will fill your shoes — 
Then why give way to ill-bred blues ? 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

Such arguments can have no weight ; 
They 're jejune and invertebrate. 

ALL. 

Go meet your fate with smiling face ! 

It won't affect the human race, 

Since some one else will take your place. 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

No doubt your point is just and right — 
We do not see it in that light ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

Come, come, you need a little streak of 
sunshine ! 

[Sings.] 

Do tears perchance bedim your eyes 
For your great granddam's late demise ? 
Are you a prey to black despair, 
To hidden grief, corroding care ? 
Are lovers false, or friends untrue ? — 



Daphne. 157 

My mood is just the thing for you. 

I laugh, ha, ha ! 

Ha, ha, ha, ha ! 
You 're sad, you are ! You know you are ! 

ALL. 

Now don't deny it. Ha, ha, ha ! 

You 're sad, you are ! You know you are ! 

FAT FAIRY. 

Are you by cruel fate rebuffed ? 
Find you your doll with sawdust stuffed ? 
Your heart bowed down by weight of woe, 
Through failure of your banking Co. ? 
Are you by sudden grief unmanned ? — 
I 've such a laughing stock on hand ! 

I laugh, ha, ha ! 

Ha, ha, ha, ha ! 
You 're sad, you are ! You know you are ! 

All day (including Sundays) 
Do I wipe the falling tear. 
No depth of de profundis 
That my humor cannot cheer. 

Would a little chuckle cheer you ? 
Or a waggish titter please ? 
Jocosely if I fleer you, 
Would it put you at your ease ? 



158 Daphne. 

Will you take a flighty giggle, 
Or a broad expansive grin ? 
O'er terms we will not niggle ; 
So how shall I begin ? 

Because, ha, ha, 

Ha, ha, ha, ha ! 
You 're sad, you are ! You know you are ! 

ALL. 

Now don't deny it. Ha, ha, ha ! 

You 're sad, you are ! You know you are ! 

LUCIAN. 

The humor of the situation almost recon- 
ciles me to its finality. I have, however, a 
last request to make of your majesty — 

BONIFACE. 

Me, too ! A pair of last requests ! 

[They point to their flour-covered shoes, 

GUMBO. 

Anything, dear boys, in the way of ghostly 
consolation ! [Calls J\ What-ho, there ! The 
royal shoe brigade ! — Although savage, we 
are not wholly devoid of polish ! 

[Two bootblacks run on with brushes, etc. 



Daphne. 159 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

[Sing.] 

Though we've faltered now and then, 

Though success our suits lacked, 

We would die like gentlemen, 

With our — [They weep. 

BOOTBLACKS. 

Boots blacked ! 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

Under threescore years and ten, 
Life its fairest fruits lacked j 
Yet we die like gentlemen, 
With our — 

BOOTBLACKS. 

Boots blacked ! 

LUCIAN AND BONIFACE. 

This remember sometimes when 
Music have our lutes lacked, 
That we died like gentlemen, 
With our — 

BOOTBLACKS. 

Boots blacked ! 



160 Daphne. 



ALL. 

Yes, we '11 all remember when 
Music have their lutes lacked, 
That they died like gentlemen, 
With their boots blacked. 

[The bootblacks whistle a popular refrain as 
they polish, and the orchestra plays the 
bootblack motif. ] 

GUMBO. 
Now we will get to the real business of 
the day. In Daphne's presence, for some 
occult reason, I find it difficult to do any- 
thing against her desire; but since she has 
discreetly absented herself — Of course, dear 
old chaps, you enter perfectly into the situ- 
ation and see how utterly impossible it would 
be for a man to let himself be haunted by the 
ghosts of his wife's discarded suitors ; other- 
wise — 

DAPHNE. 

\At the back of the stage.] Hark, hark ! 

GUMBO. 

Hark, hark, the lark ! What 's the matter 
now ? 

DAPHNE. 

The Pipes — the Pipes of Arcadia ! 

[She waves her handkerchief. 



Daphne. 161 

SHEPHERDESSES. 

[PFaving handkerchiefs^ The Pipes — 
the Pipes of Arcadia ! 

[The shepherds are heard in the distance, 
and the singing grows louder as they 
advance.] 

SHEPHERDS. 

[Sing.] 

Because a princess most despiteful 

Spurned her faithful swain, 

Came woes unrightful 

On the shepherd train ! 

Ah, mute the pipes — the song is ended, 

And the gentle flocks 

Browse all untended 

On Arcadian rocks ! 

[The shepherds all appear, singing. The 
shepherdesses run and greet them, join- 
ing in the song as they march down.] 

SHEPHERDS AND SHEPHERDESSES. 

[Sing.] 

For those who leave Arcadia ever, 

Who her hills forsake, 

Come back, ah, never, 

Tho' their hearts may break ! 

E'en tho' eyes may strain to see her, 



1 61 Daphne. 

And the bosom yearn, 
For those who flee her 
There is no return. 

BONIFACE AND LUCIAN. 

[Seize Gumbo.] Now, sir, see how you 
relish being a ghost ! Where 's the headsman ? 

DAPHNE. 

Hold, my ex-beloveds ! He will get his 
deserts later — for I mean to marry him ! 

GUMBO. 

My adored ! I will have the palace 
painted. Take half my kingdom ! [Kneels. 

DAPHNE. 

All of it. [She takes the crown from Gum- 
bo's head and puts it on her own.'] And now 
every one kiss and make up, for we will all 
go back to Arcadia for our honeymoon. 

GUMBO. 

If you were up in your Darwin, Missy, — 
I mean, my dear, — you would know that few 
savage races understand the import of a kiss. 

DAPHNE. 

Then we will hold an experience meeting 
at once. 



Daphne. 163 

GUMBO, DAPHNE, LUCIAN, SALLY, BONIFACE, 
PHYLLIS, CHEF, AND FAT FAIRY. 

[Sing, "A Kiss."] 

Best uttered in the shade, 
Needs but a youth and maid, 
Lingers, but is not stayed, 
Else all its bloom would fade. 

Cannot exist alone, 
One, it could not be done, 
Two plus would make it none. 
Two — yet its sum is one. 

Flower of innocence, 
Yet lacks not confidence ; 
Cometh, we know not whence ; 
Spirits that meet through sense. 

Chap second genesis 
As apotheosis 
Of all creation's bliss 
Contrived the primal — 

\All make the sound of a kiss. 

SALLY. 

[Throws her arm around Lucian.] This 
is so sudden ! 

LUCIAN. 

Soap-sudden, you mean. However, Sally — 



164 Daphne. 

BONIFACE. 

All the ladies who desire to compete for 
a heart left vacant by the defection of 
Daphne — [Phyllis and Marigold run 
and link their arms in his.~\ 

DAPHNE. 

[Comes to footlights and sings to audience.^ 

Through the murmur of woodland trees, 
Hither borne on the summer breeze, 
Cometh a voice, tender, true, 
Whispers to me to tell to you — 

[She whispers, but her words are drowned by 
the orchestra.^ 

In the brouhaha of the city street, 
Through the patter of hurrying feet, 
Cometh the whisper low and sweet 
That I may tell to you — 

\_Again she whispers, but her words are 
drowned by the orchestra. Finally, she sings, 
victoriously.^ 

That the world is glad and gay, dear, 
Be it December or May, dear, 
For Love is its own Arcadia, 
And this may I tell to you ! 



Daphne. 165 

[All take partners for the dance, — an ex- 
pedient for exercising the dramatist's 
proud privilege of indicating happy mar- 
riages all round. Everybody marries 
somebody, if not the special individual 
he or she set out to in the first act. It 
sometimes works quite as well, if people 
did but know it, and at any rate is true 
to life. The pedant naturally chooses 
a wife who will look up to him ; the 
poet is in love with Love 5 and the 
Daphne-esque woman throws in her lot 
with the elemental man. A moral might 
possibly here be pointed, but the dance 
begins.] 

DAPHNE AND GUMBO. 

[Sing.] 

O saying old and much renowned, 
'T is Love that makes the world go round ! 

[They dance. 

LUCIAN AND SALLY. 

O word with hope and beauty crowned, 
'T is Love that makes the world go round ! 

[Dance. 

CHEF AND FAT FAIRY. 

O singing voice, how sweet the sound, 
'T is Love that makes the world go round ! 

[Dance. 



66 Daphne. 

BONIFACE, PHYLLIS, AND MARIGOLD. 

O dancing feet that spurn the ground, 
Come, help the world go round and round ! 

[Dance. 

ALL. 

O hearts, with youth and joy that bound, 
'T is Love that makes the world go round ! 

[It ends in a whirl of song and dance. All 
lose their heads, except the leader of the 
orchestra.] 



[End.] 



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